Most people don't know...

I have been living a bit of a lie. I guess it all started in the spring of 2005. It was then that I met my good friend and compadre' Jermey Stoneburner, or more popularly know just as "Stoner." Now technically I had met him about a year earlier but we never talked. It was in the spring of '05 that Stoner, Thomas, Travis, Will and I piled into Thomas' sweet Jeep Cherokee and headed West. It was then that I realized that Stoner and I were like two peas in a pod. In fact we were two peas in the back of a SUV sitting next to Will, who was pretty ripe by the end of the week in the desert with no showers. It was then that Stoner and I felt the bond between us. Stoner, Thomas and I were roomates the next year, and a fantastic year it was. Now Stoner isn't from Arkansas or even the south, he's from Ohio, Ravenna to be precise. Furthermore he was adamantly opposed to anything Michigan, which I've also found myself doing lately. But best of all, it was during that year that Stoner converted me into an Ohio State Buckeye fan. Together we jeered Dr. Schramm, a stirct Michigan football fan. Together we schoffed at any metion Texas football. The "Michigan hand mitt" and Texas "finger hook 'em horns" were mocked in our house and turned into obscene gestures. It was a year to remember. So today(night) if the South Carolina Gamecocks loose to Auburn it won't really matter, because Jeremy Stoneburner, Troy Smith and I will have a great game later on.

Paul "the wagon jumper" Murphy

Michigan- where everyone seems to live next to Detroit and listens to Em Enim

The writer of the Blog (Paul Murphy) has every right to take this information down in case of an SC upset of Auburn. If that does happen it is your legal responsibility by reading this blog to never mention the contents. All readers are subject to this disclosure clause. If an email is not recieved by the writer within 12 hours of the reading then compliance with these rules is taken as understood.

Land, Ladies, and Lice

Well things are once again running smoothly. Shaun and I continued our tuesday night "go do something" night. Previously we'd invited Steven and Dean. But we didn't have Steven's phone number last night so he didn't join us. And Dean had a chemistry test courtesy of Jaime so he couldn't join us either. We still had fun eating pizza and watching "Kiss the Girls," a great Morgan Freeman movie. Better yet it was only $1.50.

Right now the church is hoping that some land is being opened up for our use. This is only one of the highly anticipated projects that is being opened up. Our hope is we can start leasing that land and build a building of our own. Currently we're renting property for some outrageous amount to use it only on Sunday morning. Our other project is a bus. Currently we have two "busses." One stays broken and the other breaks every other week, literally. A generous church member from Austin (?) has donated a nice van for us to use. Our problem is shipping it over. It is much cheaper to ship it from LA than Houston. Furthermore the church doesn't really have the funds to ship it from either place. So we're starting to look for a way. Bottom line, two projects, both require funding, funding God has not yet given us. This doesn't mean I'm asking for money, I'm not. I'll take prayers though.

Morty (the truck) is looking like a beast with his new tires. Furthermore they are some serious off-road tires. We drove through a river yesterday to get home. It handled fine. But I'm hoping for another byproduct of the tires than off-road handling. Back in the southern states it seemed the bigger truck you had the more ladies you got. To this day Tom Greenway swears that the only reason Rachael White, a girl with great personality, went out with another dude because the other dude had a bigger truck. Well I'm the one with a big truck now. So where are the ladies? Aaron Hasten asked me if there were any babes on the island. I'm sure there are, they're just like parking spaces at Wal-Mart. All of the good ones are taken and the rest are just way out there.

So apparently there has been a little problem with lice at the school. Now in self-contained classrooms its my job to watch over the health and safety of all of my students, including the whole lice issue. At yesterdays teachers meeting I was informed on lice detection and prevention. Apparently because there is no real winter the lice never get killed off so there's a threat all year. Apparently its my job to sift through students hair "monkey style" to see if they have lice. Not cool. I don't even like sifting through my own hair in the morning to get tangles out. As one of my coworkers put it, "it'll be pretty louse"y"" (Confusing to read) It'll be an experience, probably a bad experience.

Paul, the knitt picker, Murphy

The University of Hawaii should start its own confrence, the SUK 5
Where's Frisco TX?

Resilience

It seems that the months from August to December are always the hardest months of the year for me. If you averaged my GPA's from fall and spring semesters you'd find a sharp skew toward spring semester in the past few years. Anyways...

As a Murphy I have been tought how to get out of sticky situations. Its a birthright. Which also means we've been in some pretty nasty stuff, including being on the side of the road looking for a tire in a swamp in the middle of the Talledega National forrest while trying to be on vacation. Or the spring break trip that never happened b/c the van shut down in ATL. Anyways we've had to go through a lot of stuff. So we've learned to adapt and think outside the box. Which also makes us pretty good at breaking and entering.

Philip worked on my car yesterday and got it going again. It turned out to be a fuel issue. In solving the problem he fixed another problem that was about to occur. USPostal Service still won't ship rocket engines on an airplane, which means they should go on the boat, which takes 3 months. So I've found a solution to that as well.

I need a favor. Now before I ask this favor I would like to point out some biblical principles. First Rahab, in the lineage of Jesus, lied. Furthermore because she lied she got to be in the chosen people. Furthermore the ten commandments didn't say not to lie but not to bear (?) false witness. Back to the favor. I need someone to ship me 6 B6-4 Estes rocket engine priority mail. Purchasable at your local Wal-Mart. Hopefully the lady at the USPS mail window won't ask you if there are any explosives in your package. If she does, lie.

So I think I've got most worked out, for now.

Paul, I hope Last Kiss comes to the Nuu'uli theater Murphy

Zach Braff hates Vanderbilt, about as much as everyone else in the SEC loves them, because they're easy.

Crap

Crap: I just found out that rocket engines can not be shipped via airplanes. So no priority shipping. That may not seem like a big deal except I was planning on letting my kids launch rockets at the end of this unit. I'm pretty sure they'll be crushed.

Crap: My car wouldn't start this morning. I'm hoping its just a fuel issue

Crap: My car is only getting like 9 miles to the gallon

Crap: I'm starting to miss things back home a lot more. Like frisbee. And Kevin Burr. Justin Bland's wisdom. Aaron Hasten hooking me up with some tasty speech pathology chik. I guess my mom should go in here somewhere.

Crap: My golf game is worse than ever. New articles:
Real Article: Rainy Day Blues: How to turn that rained out day into putting practice

Mine: Rainy Day Blues: Pouring rain means there's nobody at the club or window to pay, translation, free golf.

72, how to achieve your greatest game of golf

72, not driving the ball straight? turn 72degrees to your left, that way when you slice the (mess) out of the ball it might still hit the fairway


Paul if I had an Indian name it would be "getting powned at life" Murphy

Crap: Gamecocks have Aurburn Thursday
I hate Idaho. Sorry thats the best I've got.

Turn to leaflet insert 3b in your songbook

Today has been a pretty rough day. Every sunday after service we kind of divy up the responsiblity of taking people home. Most people on the island don't have vehicles. So me and Morty get our designated route each sunday. Well on my way to take a visiting family home today I ran out of gas. So as I contimplate the correct action, as I have a Samoan family and Steven (Steven works at Am. Sam Comunity College as a library assistant director), I smile and stay cool. As I've run out of gas before I knew that often times you can go a little farther if you only wait a minute and turn your car back on. So luckily it worked and we made it to the gas station. Then I went to eat with Philip and Jaime. After exiting the restaraunt I tried starting my car and it wouldn't start, just clicked once. So I lifted the hood and tinkered and tried again. Still nothing. So I closed the hood of the car and asked God to start my car. Click. But then on the second try it started. I guess there's some lag in the communication. None of this would have been that big of a deal except that I've been fealing pretty crunched for funds recently. And by recently I mean the entire time I've been here. I hadn't really planned to pay the premium for a car and then to buy tires and stuff. So most of my paychecks since I've gotten here have gone towards Morty and the subsequent two tires I've purchased. I've always intended to save for retirement when I got out of college. As it stands I haven't started. Furthermore my student loans should be coming in pretty soon to add further monetary stress. But there's always a bright side.

As I was about to post this blog I was listening to Jonathan Storments sermon posted on the Richland Hills CoC website. He talks a little about his recent visit to India and the poverty there. Now I would definetly considere myself to be poor, but not everyone does. Like Storment I'd planned to graduate college and make some serious cash, but after a change in degree plan and some other stuff, I find my self below the poverty line. Which is fine, I'm the one who signed up for it. One thing that is different here than in the states is that wealth is not necessarily measured on an even scale. They take age into the calculation as well. Though I don't have near the income of some wealthier Somaons I think a lot of Samoans think I'm sort of wealthy. I am the only 22 year old that I know that has a car. Of course I'm also the only person under 40 I know (on the island) with a masters degree. So maybe for the only time in my life I'm wealthy and smart. To compound the whole money issue I'm not sure how much I can "get away with" giving to the church. Now as a base I guess I start around 10%. But I do use my car for some church functions, so can I deduct my tires from my bi-monthly giving? Or what about gas? Hmmm. What about 1/7 of my tires because most of my driving on Sunday is chruch related? I don't know what you do and really don't want to know. I do know that if you break giving to God into a 10W-40 form then you may have defeated some of the purpose. So far I can surmize three reasons that God wants us to give. 1. Trust- If you give then you have to trust that God will help you out if you find yourself in a bind. 2. Respect- so often we say that our blessings come from God but do we believe it. Or do we believe our paychecks come from the direct deposit to Simmon's First? 3. The church's opperating budget- It's nice to have stuff at church, like a building and things of that nature. Which brings me back to the sermon. I'm fine. I'll make it. And I heard the best invitation song ever. Storment asks for everybody to stand and then you here some guitar feedback, at which point Philip realized that it was Weezer. "If you want it, you can have it. But you've gotta learn to reach up there and grab it." Which is true. Then we realized the program for playing the sermon on the computer moved to the next mp3 file on the list, Weezers photograph.

Paul Murphy

Colarado almost killed Georgia by the Hillal method this past weekend

Monetary Meditations

I think one of my favorite things to do is save money. Now not like putting money in a bank account and planning for "retirement" or anything like that. What I mean when I say "save money" is paying less for more. Like getting a round trip from Atlanta to Las Vegas for $15. In fact I don't just like saving money, I like talking about saving money. I think one thing that really annoys Jaime is that Philip and I will sit and talk for an hour about how to save money on little things. In college Tom Greenway, Josh and myself would sit around the dormroom talking cheap for hours. Furthermore any time we found something on sale, that we considered a good deal, we'd rush in to inform our cheap brethren about our find. Tom, Josh and I ate a lot of nasty food from the East Park grocery store that had expired a month previous. But we were always looking for a deal. I think I get alot of that from my dad, who has been known to buy stuff because it was heavily discounted. So if anyone is looking for a designer, hand-woven, authentic, persian rug drop me a line. I can recall on several occasions Tom or Josh bursting through my door to inform me that the Sexton Foods had cut milk prices in half because they expired the day before. We figured as long as we drank all seven gallons that day it'd still taste good. We really could and did just sit around talking about cheaper prices. In fact the last several times I've talked to Tom we talk gas milage, and the fact that my Jeep got better milage at 85mph than 74 (It has to do with the powerband. Too bad there aren't any places to drive 85).

Here on the island there aren't that many bargains or deals. You pay full price for pretty much everything, or more. But just like every captialistic economy there are deals to be found. One thing that has upset me is that there are no 20 oz bottles of Dr. Pepper on the island. Only cans; no 2 liters either. So I've been buying Mountain Dew for $1.35. One day I realized that the abscence of 20oz DP was really a good thing. I can buy two 12oz DP's for $0.50 a piece. So 24oz for $1 or 20 oz for $1.35 of something I don't really want. Furthermore I need 2 new tires for Morty, as he's showing steel in one of them. So today I'll start shopping for the best tire prices. And like I said, there really aren't any good deals on the island. I think I'll wind up paying $130/tire. So I'll just buy one at a time.

Paul Murphy

There are only two good things that ever came from Texas, Dr. Pepper, and cheap landscaping.

Preparedness

I think one of my favorite verses from the past two years is Epesians 6:14. I think thats right. Just the whole idea of Paul talking about what you need to be a good servant. I use to skip over verse 14 because it wasn't cool. The whole idea of shoes being something you would wear to prepare for war wasn't to appealing, I wear shoes all the time, well at least sandals or something. But here Paul says some crazy stuff. Everytime I've gone over this section in a class they talk about how there's no protection for your back because a soldier isn't supposed to run and stuff like that. They never really hang with the whole feet-readiness issue. But I like it. I think this is one of the most important verses in the bunch. Paul basically says be ready for anything, and he means anything. But not only be ready for anything, but if you go through some serious poop it'll be allright. Which from most preachers would seam like nothing special, but this is from Paul. He was beaten with rods several times, whipped more times than he could count, and stoned. Not like Bob Marley stoned but like two GIANT rocks rolled ontop of the man, STONED. So for him to say, hey it can get a lot worse, but in the end it'll only get better means alot more than myself or some preacher. You may think, "but what if I die?" I think I recall Paul saying at one point that, "to live is Christ and to die is gain." Well yah if you always got the poopy beat out of you because you were doing what God said, well yah then to die would be some sort of releif. I've heard alot of people talk about the thorn in Paul's flesh. I think he was tired of getting knocked around like a guy wearing a skirt at a Rednecks for Republicans bbq.

Anyways. All that is to frame the class I have. Before school started people sort of laughed at the student roll I had. They told me things like, "It'll be an interesting class." Basically they were telling me that my class was "different." I don't know if I'm supposed to divulge such information but I have something like 4 children with ADHD, 1 with diagnosed learning disability(I'm not sure all of it but something like dislexic), 1 with severe learnign disablities that they're not really sure whats up (something like disgraphia), and one very special girl with a nonverbal learning disability (something akin to autism or asbergers). And by special I don't mean she has a low IQ or anything, she's pretty sharp. Reading comprehension is spectacular. She scored almost twice as high as my lowest grade on the last test. But she still has some serious issues. All that said I enjoy having her in class, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do all the time. And furthermore no class I had ever prepared me for this. The closest would be a Counseling class I took as an elective in Grad School. So if anyone sees Dr. Alexander tell her her class rocks. Basically it was a class completely on school age children and disabilities they may have. Furthermore because it was a Counseling class it taught me how to talk to parents and the child and what not. I think it should be a permanent part of the Masters curriculum at Harding, or any school for that matter. Once again, I may not have all the answers, or really hardly any answers. But I do know that whatever goes down we can handle it.

Paul Murphy

Despair.com is responsible for the picture. They thought about doing a calendar for University of Tennessee football but they had alot more than 365 hillarious ideas.

This is Morty
My Nissan Pickup

Blow, your mind

Well contrary to what this post could be about, it's not about my second favorite preachers comments on national television. I like watching good movies. I like watching revolutionary movies. Movies like Braveheart, "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it." Gladiator, "Win the crowd and you'll win your freedom." Amistad, the ending song ( I hum it all the time). But today I had a Matrix experience. Not one of those orthoganal pieces of junk but the movie. I really enjoy the Matrix and its special effects. Now I thought the storyline has some holes and the second and third were kinda not worth watching, but all together a solid movie. One of my favorite scenes is when Keanu (?) flexes and the world flexes around him. Sweetness. Today I flexed the world around me, or at least my kids thought I did. I'm quite suprised nobody cried or started smoking, literaly or figuratively. I showed them, using things they already know how to do, the basic calculations for projectile motion. They asked frantic questions which I fielded with marksman accuracy. They just sat there. Not really knowing what to do. It was like they saw David Blane rip a quarter in half, except way better. It was like David Blane teaching them how to truely magically rip a quarter in half. It was rediculous.

Paul Murphy

You know I was going to throw a jab at Joe Beam but I just can't think of anything that would be funny and clean, or appropriate. So there will be no making fun of anything today.

Random Scattered thoughts on Judas and Peter (long)

I found myself wondering tonight who committed the greater crime, Judas or Peter. I get the fealing that Judas wasn't exactly the greatest apostle from the get-go. I can recall in one of the gospels an account that Judas was the keeper of the money and sometimes helped himself to it. But that could have been written out of spite. I don't really know. My pondering is on who's betrayal was worse. Jesus new both sidekicks would leave him. Moreover he possibly picked Judas because he needed an out to death. If Jesus doesn't conquer death than how do we know he was the Son of God? Remember this for a few minutes. Judas sells Jesus out for what? 40 pieces of silver? Not cool. But Jesus never really calls Judas on any of it. On the other hand he does call Peter on his betrayal. Worse Pete says he would never, then does. I think if Jesse Shuff was responsible for my imprissonment I would eventually just write him off as a friend and get over it. Now if Kevin Stewart said he was with me to the death and took off when the cops came, I'd be hacked. I'm not sure I could trust him again with anything important. But Jesus doesn't do either. He forgives Judas and I think was extremely sad when Judas couldn't forgive himself, which I think is the case with alot of people. Forget The End of the Spear that would be a rock'n story, Jesus takes Judas back. I don't know which person hurt Jesus more, Peter, one of his best friends, or Judas, someone who was shifty from the beginning. Not to say Shuff is shifty. But I guess God was kind of use to it after 1000 years of dealing with the Israelites, his chosen people.

Today in class I think I might have made a Peter mistake. Now not completely. But I still feel pretty bad. I had a student asking about when our breaks were. I begin explaining that we get a break at the end of every quarter. The second quarter ends in a two week Christmas break. The student replied that she did not celebrate Christmas but welcolmed the break anyways. Furthermore they got to have lots of celebrations throughout the year. I asked the student if they were Jewish, which they replied they were Bahai. Now that through me for a loop. I know very little about Bahai and infact it all would have been a guess. But taken aback by the strange suggestion I replied "oh, thats cool." But I didn't mean it. I kinda feel like I've pulled a Peter (as the dogs bark outside the window). I don't think thats cool. In fact I think its pretty bad.

If you're not familiar with Bahia wikipedia it up. I think that its an attractive notion in todays world. I would love to be a part of a religion that was known for its efforts in peace and giving. One thing I've encountered on the Island is that a good deal of the Americans are... Well this begins another discourse. I don't want to use the word "liberal" because that connotation means alot. They don't like fetus', they don't support our troops, homosexuality is O.K. and in some respect, respected and "cool," they don't love Jesus, they have little to no morals, they smoke pot, don't like christianity, don't keep propper hygene, have dred locks, have lived in the back of a Volkswagen at some point, have an I heart Barbra Boxer poster, eat Tofu, like Indi Rock, live in communes, and have strange religions. So liberal in most of those senses is probably not the right word. But they are liberal in the classic sense. I guess moving to an island in the South Pacific is only attractive to a small segment of the population. I guess you could sort of call them "free spirited" people. So I can see how a religion like Bahai is attractive to someone like that. It promotes peace. That's definetly not something Christianity does. Christianity promotes the war in Iraq, anti-homosexual hate crimes, discontinuing welfare, forced state religion and religion in school, slavery, segregation, the crusades, Capitalistic Imperialism, and Good ole fashion Imperialism. We don't promote peace and love do we? I think the biggest problem American christians have to overcome is the seperation of national identity from christianity. Is it O.K. if children are not taught intelligent design in school? Of course it is. If you haven't spent enought time with your child explaining Genisis chapter 1 by the 6th grade then your problem isn't the school's curriculum. If you think that the war in Iraq is God's will then you haven't spent enought time in Ephesians. Jesus did not bring a gospel of victory through battle, he brought a gospel of victory through peace and love. If you think the Republican or Democratic party has the answers to our country's problems, I think your sadly mistaken. If you think that the ideas of christianity are intertwined in either party then I think you're full of it. If you vote for the Republican party because you think they have the highest morals and represent the ideas of christianity then someone has fooled you. You want to vote for the Republicans because they have the best representation of Christ, no-way. You want to vote for a party with the most imbedded the ideas of christianity in their platform try the Prohibition Party. I get angry when someone thinks that a political monsterosity like parties will actually represent their beliefs in christianity. You need to represent your beliefs in Christ, not someone you vote for. You need to be activily trying to curb abortion, not just voting for it. You want people to stop having abortions, then get involved in an after school program, get involved in their lives. Abortion isn't the problem, its only a symptom of a country that we haven't loved enough. Homosexual marriages aren't a problem, they are a symptom of not showing people Jesus' love and what he wants for them. Christians have gotten a bad rep in alot of circles, and honestly as a collective group we probably deserve it. But that shouldn't stop us of sharing what, as Paul writes, is a gospel of peace. I can see why someone would turn to a religion as wishy-washy as Bahai when I look at our country. It would be nice if a religion offered a gospel of peace, of love, and unity.


Paul Murphy

We don't show love in our actions, peace in our vernacular, or unity in our church politics.

Barriers

One problem I've been havin is the language barrier. I guess its really two problems. First, there is the language barrier between myself and many of the locals. Now most Samoans between 5 and 35 speek english pretty well. But that still leaves a large segment of the population out. And then there are the people who can sort of speak english like James. James is the fix-it guy at the school but more importantly James is a member at our Church. Really I am a member at James' church as his extended family make up a good portion of our membership. Now James is a sharp guy. He is an excellent craftsman, landscaper, and electrician who fixed the fan in my classroom. James also speaks three languages. He is origianally from Tonga (Tongan), moved to Am. Sam (Samoan) and can speak some english. But its still pretty difficult for us to have conversations. But we do.

The second language barrier is on Friday nights. Fridays after school some of the highschoolers have started inviting Shaun and myslef to play Halo. Now I've been playing Halo (video game on X-Box) for a while on Thursday nights with some of my best friends for the past few years (Kyle J., Mark G., Josh M., Jesse S., David K., and Chris T.) . Over the past few years we have developed names for everything and everyplace. We could say one sentence with lots of strange and sometimes anatomic nouns and know exactly what was going on. The promblem is the knew crowd has no idea of our vernacular. And they're all students at school so I can't really use it all, especially in front of their parents. Words like Powned. Anyways Its been difficult to communicate. That doesn't mean I loose.

The next barrier I've encountered is the reef. And I do mean encountered. We went snokeling today and had a tough time. The current was vicious. Worse it was going out to sea. Now I wouldn't call it a rip tide but it was nasty. Philip thought if it hadn't been for the rocks we were able to grab onto we might not have made it. We'd have made it but it would have taken a long time. The reef was great though, coral was good. We saw a school of fish about 100 strong. But the reef was behind the breaker waves so at one point I contacted it. My leg is sorta scraped up. But it was worth it. Furthermore while Colt was swimming some kids came up behind me after I had climbed a rock. They were holding plastic lids. You know, the kind that go on top of mortar and compound buckets. They were using them as frisbees. So I joined in and threw with them for a while. There are now some kids in Leone that have a killer OI flick. They were all impressed with my mad disc skills. Disc is probably the one thing that I miss most about the mainland. I dream about playing, and often think of when I can make a tournament. There's one in Hawaii in November but I won't be attending. But it'll be alright. I think the one thing that will eventually get me back home will be frisbee. I can always talk to my parents and family and friends, but it takes a team to play disc, two infact. Well Its time for Julia's birthday party

Paul (Grandpaul) Murphy

Many members of African Traditional Religious groups in southern Nigeria have put a hex on Steve Spurrier rendering him only capable of mediocrity.

Funny, pure and simple

Last night we had Wednesday night Nights night. Or Shawn, Dean, and myself went to see Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I've got two words, hillarious.
I gave my class their first test the other day. Not good. In fact I feal like Dr. Stewart in 215. Its not like we didn't actually cover the material. We did, most of it twice. But still some students bombed it. Granted I had one question that I think only one student got right. Worse, most of it was multiple choice. I hate it when teachers aim for the bell curve. I hate it. And thats pretty much what I got, but skewed a little left. Now the competitive part of me thinks I need to work harder to get my students better. The optomist thinks that my students probably just didn't test well and that they really do know the answers. The pessimist thinks that none of my kids have been paying attention for the past four weeks. Either way they've got to do better. Which means I've got to do better. Attitude reflects leadership.
The Happy person inside me just wants to go watch Talledaga a few more times. It was the funniest movie I've seen in the theater in long time. Possibly ever. But seeing as the second movie would've been monster's inc. it show the limits of the movies I see in the theater.
Alright I'm out

Paul

What is 100yards long and has 76 teeth?
The front row of an University of Alabama football game.

Fishing, and I'm out

Season after season, year after year I look forward to the Gamecocks football season. But for the last time. Today has been pretty stressful. Although we went swimming in the ocean this morning it's been all downhill since then. Though I haven't been playing the course at all, I've lost more golf balls in the past week and a half then, well, alot. About 14. I'm serious as earpuss, and thats some serious stuff. Luckily none of the balls were actually mine. Furthermore most of them will probably reclaimed by the Willis' and Ashleys as I shanked most of those 14 into their yard/bushes/coconut pile. Four just "disapeared," which I noticed today. It makes me angry because I spend a good deal of time searching for those balls at night on the golfcourse. My record is six balls in one night. I've gotten pretty good at spotting those white round objects in low light. One night a few days ago (?) I found a ball in the water hazard. Now there aren't any permanent water hazards on the course but it had been raining for three days straigt so some pretty large puddles. Furthermore, Philip found two today while we were snorkeling. Anyways. I'm pretty hacked at my non-improvement in the area of golf. I'm about ready to wrap my clubs around a tree. What was it Paul said? If your eye is causing you to sin then gouge it out. So I think I've got a biblical basis for taking my clubs and smashing them against a tree. I've also managed to draw the short straw tonight and have Colt, Ally, and Julia. The adults are out to dinner. Philip offered to get a babysitter but I didn't want to deal with a babysitter. So I chose the less of the two bad proposals. I don't think it'd be that bad but for the horrible day. Which brings me to the Gamecocks. Every year I'm assured by the coach that they will do well. Every year I watch games and buy a new hat (sometimes two. I loose alot of hats). I don't ask for much. An SEC championship would great. I'd give Philip and Jaime's three kids for a national championship (That's a joke, I'd have to pay for them to take Ally). Really I don't ask much, a win over Georgia, Clemson, and Tennessee, maybe Florida, oh oh and Arkansas for the years we play them. But it never happens. The South Carolina Gamecocks haven't won a conference title since 1969. They haven't even won any of the games I've gone to. My point is I'm tired of the dissapointment, the second rate job, the half effort by players and coaching staff, and by a state and athletes with no loylaty to their own football programs. I'm willing to bet that over half (if not all) of the top recruits in SC HS football go out of state to play ball. I'm tired of it. For years the Gamecocks have been turning their back on me, but not this year. This year I've had enough. I liked to consider myself a loyal fan, supporting the Gamecocks even in their 0-12 season. But I'm done. My Braves are out of the playoff contention, Doug Flutie retired from football, Apocalypse still can't pull out a close game against a top ranked opponent (club sectionals this weekend. Though ranked 7th they have an excellent opportunity to place fourth and continue the bracket braking that began last semester after the upset of a 2 seed in the Southern Region (which is most of the schools from TX, AL, LA, TN, KS, AR, OK, MS, and MO)), and I got beat a few times at Halo by some highschoolers (smaller controllers were really messing me up). But I digress. For years the Gamecocks have been turning their back on me, but not this year. This year I'm turning my back on them, I'm done. Throwing the hat away, not requiring my students to know the next opponent, not watching the games. No more trying to get Julia's first word to be Gamecocks, no more agitating Clemson fans, no staring at pictures of Williams Bryce stadium when I'm homesick, no more games. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having to face Mark Grayson after the loss to Georgia, tired of sitting in the visitors section at Arkansas games to watch my team lose in front of 60,000 razorback fans yelling "soooooooWEEEEE pig," no more having to hear it from Daniel Burns (what happend to him anyways?), no more. No more. No more. I'm out.

Paul Murphy

The Flying Spaghetti Monster created Texas as a sad joke
http://www.venganza.org/
(How'd that guy get a .org site?)
(FSM is not supported by the writer of this blog, nor any view expressed on the website)
(I must say the pirate-global warming thing is pretty interesting, and Statistically significant. Ask Dr. Thornton)

(clears throat)
Well apparently I've stirred up some commotion with my theories on teacher dropout rates, which were a little on the extreme side. It seems odd that people were more offended/unhappy with my humorous appraisal of teacher dropout rates than me slamming little kids with a soccerball. In the face too.

For if anyone was offended, I appologize. But I haven't made any girls cry in my class yet. Furthermore I now realize the wide readership of this Blog and wonder "who does read this?" So like my hero I will be systimatically making fun of people, states, countries, and religious icons. I'll get hate mail and be able to see who all reads.

So send that hatemail to
Paul Murphy made fun of my self, state, country, religious icon
PO Box 326
Pago Pago, AS 96799

Muhamed was a Florida State fan

Fudge and addition

I feel like my class is alot like Arthur, the cartoon. While my kids are being forced to learn the Pythogorean theorom and trigonometric functions the second graders next door get to sing and dance (like the pirates of penzance). While my kids are trying to find the correct angle to launch a rocket in 6mph winds they here "two plus two is four." Which they probably yearn to answer, it so simple. Ironically my nephew Colt is in that class and is probably questioning the idea that two plus two is four. Furthermore recognizing that 4 plus 8 is not 12 but 10. Try explaining that to a second grader or even harder the teacher, but thats the challenge Jaime is facing with her chem and phys students. Its true. Its called significant digits, look it up if you don't believe me 4+8=10 every time. Furthermore Colten is probably recognizing that two is one of the few numbers that added and multiplied by itself is the same number.

If anyone sees or talks to my parents tell them to send my stuff

They say that 50% of teachers quit by their fourth year. I figure this happens for two reasons. 1. most teachers are women. Women don't have jobs, the make babys. Its true. Women are not rational around babys. Don't ever try to have a conversation with one while their holding a baby. Babys cry, women have to go pick them up. I on the other hand have developed the ability to tune them out completely. Women get completely unrational when talking about babys and pregnancy. Can't handle the pressure. 2. Teachers aren't competitive enough. We've lost the old student and master thing, which is an issue. Its not just good enough to know more than your students, you've got to know alot more than your students. Furthermore, shove it in their face when you have to opportunity. This goes for everything including dodgeball. I own these kids in dodgeball just as well as math. Teachers let kids win, not only on the recess field but in the class room. Don't let them win with annoiances. Any time my kids try to get under my skin I retaliate with extreme predjudice. Homework, they hate it.

bye
Why do I sign my name? Its not like people are thinking "hey I thought this was the Jonathan Storment fan club blog?!"

Church, Labor Day, and Work

Well today's posting will be a little overview. If you want a more comprehensive storyline go to my brother Philip's blog @ http://samoanews.blogger.com.

Church is a bit unusual. The regular sunday attendance is ussually half Samoan half Palagi (whitey). Now the church has about 90 someodd people on the copher role but not that many show. We have a large contingency of people from one village, Pavai'ai. We have representatives from three familys, I think. Most of our teens and younger people come from the village. Their singing is pretty spectacular. You can definitely tell when the families from the village show up to church, ussually in the back of Lynn or Philip's truck. Church service is conducted in half Samoan and half Enlgish. I'm slowly picking up some Samoan but its only church Samoan. Tusi Pai- Holy Scripture, Lelei- peace, Ailii- God, O le os so- Beginning of sentances. I was translating the morning anouncements for Shaun the other day.
Me: "Sione can't make it this moring because he is sick, or out somehwere travleing."
Two seconds later Sione gets up to lead the opening prayer
Shaun: Gives me a look

Which brings me to work
School is pretty sweet. I teach a combined class of 5th and 6th grade. My students are pretty much rock solid. Though they vary in ability they all are very capable. I have 16, which my friend Peter Miller says is a vacation (Pete is S. African and taught inner city Memphis for a year). Granted I push my kids I think they can do the work. Like I told them the first day, after I gave them a two and a half hour test, I appreciate effort and expect it from them. Shaun Snyder is one of the other new teachers this year, he Jaime and myself round out that category. Shaun is a Lubboc C. grad and teaches the 3rd and 4th graders next door to me. Shaun's blogg is http://shauninsamoa.blogspot.com
Shaun and I hang out.

Labor day
Well Morti is a beast of a truck with its V6 and 31in tires. So much so that he pimp slapped me for naming him Mortimer. Though Truck has some small issues, like a leaky moon roof, it has a moon roof. It is a continuation of non-brand loyalty and oversized cars. My first car was an Chevy S-10 that I think we put more money into afterwards fixing it than we actually bought it for. Three clutch issues later and some other stuff I inheritted the family mini-van to take to college. The 92 Ford Aerostar will always remain a classic Paul Murphy car. At one point I added some bead curtains to the side door. Colt, with some help, started calling it the shaggin' waggon, which stuck. I got the waggon with 213,000 mile and drove it untill 230,00. Dad tacked another 40,000 on and I think I finally killed it on the drive back from the sailing adventure. I drove the shaggin waggon proudly until I bought the Jeep Wrangler. The Wrangler is a beast. But now I've moved to the Nissan pickup. Just one more car that refuses to top 20 mile/gallon in this petrolium strapped world. I like to think of myself as helping the local economy.

Golf

I've decided to start sumbitting articles to one of the popular golf magazines, like Golf Digest or Golf Weekly. I've discovered some of the lesser known points in Golf. But they wouldn't be regular golf articles they'd be articles for the bad golfer.
Golfing in AmSam has some different aspects than regular golf. First of all everything is mowed and is decent fairway. There is only one cut of rough, jungle rainforest.

Regular article: Sharpening your pitching wedge skills
Paul Murphy: Sharpening your pitching wedge: propper strokes to cut foliage and find your ball in the deepest rough.

Regular article: Choosing the right ball: Distance or Control?
Paul Murphy: Choosing the right ball: rules to picking up stray abandoned balls on the golf course.
(follow up article) Does brown mean bad?

Regular aritcle: Replacing your driver: how to find the club to fit your swing
Paul Murphy: Replacing your driver: Tips for finding a better deal on ebay

Regular article: Golf course etiquette: picking up those broken tees and other points
Paul Murphy: Which tees will still work: finding usable tees left on the course

Regular article: Extra club: carrying a left handed club for those bad mistakes
Paul Murphy: Extra can: carrying a can of green spray-paint for those really bad divets

Regular article: A quick review: propper techniques for to take a drop
Paul Murphy: A quick review: take the backpacker's code, pack out what you pack in; leaving the course with as many balls as you started with.

Just some thoughts from the golf course at 6 pm as I try and replace all the balls I loose practicing pitching in the back yard.

A boy named Mortamer

Though I never wanted children I always wanted to name a kid Mortammer (I kinda think its like the soldier who walked to the pearly gates and said to St. Peter, "one more soldier reporting, for I've already spent my time in hell."). I thought I could just call him Morty. Well I don't have any kids but I do plan on buying a car today. But not just any car, a 1996 Nissan Pickup 4X4, 5spd, V6, with 31" tires. Its one of those cars thats too beefy for a girls name like kate, Dora (as one of my friends called his Ford Explorer), or sue. This truck is too beefy for a girls name.

I'm sorry I don't have any pictures, but not sorry enough to buy a digital camera and start taking pictures. Here picture a school converted out of old duplexs next to the last lowland rainforest in the S.Pac. When my kids play kickball I have to trodge through the jungle to retreive some kids shanked attempted at a homerun.

The island has been pretty rock'n. Hopefully Morty will allow me to explore some more and get invovled in something athletic so I don't feel like the Pringles I eat every day for lunch are making me fat. Which, by the way, taste kinda foul today. Needless to say I've felt pretty stuck without wheels.

But when it rains it pours. Yesterday while car shopping Philip and I found two cars in the "wreck" lot of one of the banks. After talking to an employee we deciphered we could get two of these cars for under a thousand a peice. It was almost the start of the Murphy Samoan Junkyard and the Murphy Bro. Repo "breaking into cars since 1998." I'm sure we could have inlisted some local talent and just managed the buisness. But Philip didn't buy the repo pitch and I didn't buy the salvage yard pitch so you've still got time to talk us out of it.

Paul Murphy