Stories of a Moron

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Things I've Learned About Relationships from Jon and Kate; and others

So I'll just state up front that I've occasionally been impressed (like the British Naval way; not the "oh that's neat" way) into watching "John and Kate plus 8." I've compiled a list of things I've learned.


"When you're married, you're can't have a close friend that's a girl. You confide in your close friends, and the only woman you need to confide in is your wife" -Doc K-Stew


I think one of the biggest problems Jon and Kate ran into was that they learned to confide in other people besides their spouse. It seemed like they would use the cameras and their public audience to give information about their lives and vent; mostly about each other.



"Don't be lazy" -My mother


So the few times I watched the show I noticed that Jon always seemed reluctant to work, watch kids, and clean up. This led the most nagging I've ever witnessed. Did he deserve some of it? Sure. Did the nagging help? You tell me.


"...all she does is go 'SQUAK SQUAK SQUAK!' Here, have some more bird seed -----"- Jesse Shuff


Nobody likes and nag. They always come off as a glass-half-empty person. Trey Morgan always says couples need reinforcement, not nagging.

"Men loved to be complimented by their wives. Simple compliments like, 'Your hair looks nice today,' or 'You look handsome in that shirt,' will make your husband's day."- Trey Morgan




"I think I'm going to name the next one (Julia) Miney. I'll start calling Colt Eney, and Allison Meany" (Eney, Meany, Miney...)
"What about Mo" -Me
"There ain't gonna be no 'Mo'"- Philip Murphy


EIGHT KIDS! ARE YOU FREAKING CRAZY!!! You've got to know your limits. I get it, they had trouble having kids then had to turn to fertilization techniques. If you're gonna load the gun, you've got be ready for the possibility of firing off all the shots. But in the end they surpassed their limits, and now it's their kids that will have to pay for it.



'Blah, Blah Blah'- Telemarketer offering me something
"Well is it Free?"- Me
"Honey, ain't nothin in life that's free."- Telemarketer


The van, the house, the trips, Jon's Hair plugs, Kate's surgery, and everything else wasn't free. It came with the cameras, the publicity, and the fame. You can't seriously expect to live your life under surveillance and maintain a close relationship with the people around you. There are things that go on in a house that nobody else needs to know about. Especially not the 5 million woman (and shamed men) who watched the program every week. I'm fairly sure the any intimacy that was there before Season 1 was probably gone by Season 3.


"If he's not getting it at home, he'll get it somewhere else"- Marybeth Greenway


Ladies, don't leave your husband at home during your rare spare time to pursue your book deal. Guys have fairly short attention spans. I think its easy for men to forget how much they love someone when that person isn't around. You've got to make time to make the relationship work. Frankly I'm surprised that Jon lasted as long as he did.


Paul "Waiting for the flood" Murphy