Economics of Church (long)

I've been looking at a lot of options for what to do with the rest of my life in the past few months. I've found some really cool jobs and expounded on some previous thoughts. One idea has been to go back to school and get a higher degree in economics. Now this idea isn't really appealing to the Rents. What do you do with an Econ degree? So here's some advice for anyone out there looking to change majors or jobs to something questionable.

You/Me: Mom. Dad. I'm thinking about going back to school to get a theater degree and try to be a movie star.

Rents: Excuse me?! That doesn't sound like a very good career choice. Your not THAT good looking.

You/Me: Well I want to do something else. And that's something I'm interested in.

Rents: Ummm, can you think of anything else?

You/Me: Yah, I've also been interested in Economics (or whatever questionable profession like working for HALO and clearing mines in some remote place.)

Back to the post. In Economics we find that a company must perform certain tasks to stay afloat. If a company wanted to open a store in Town X, pop. 35,000 then they would most certainly need a niche, something they do (or do better) that other stores don't. It could be something as simple as offering a service not previously offered in town, such as accountant. If that store choses to be in the retail business they will most certainly have to compete with Wal-Mart. You would have to offer something Wally World didn't, like decent books or cars. There is also the idea of supply and demand. You cannot expect to maintain a business without a sufficient supply. Moreover you cannot maintain doing the same business as a larger business with more assets unless you offer something special.

Churches are everywhere where most of us live, especially here in American Samoa. What is your church offering that no others are, what is your Specialization? A bad answer is "God," "the Bible," or "being holy." Almost every church specializes in those things, or tries to to some degree. Those aren't good selling points. Also all churches aren't Wal-Mart. Your church probably cannot support a grocery store and a sports department. More practically, a small church (under 80) cannot have a hispanic ministry, hospice ministry, and prison ministry; Ceteris Paribus. Another econ term. It means "how things are now" or "all other things being equal." Economics, and the Three Amigos, suggests that a small church should find something that church can do well as a group and focus on it. You'll never be able to compete with Fort Jesus down the road if you try doing the same things they are. And why would you want to? If they are already meeting a need in the community then fantastic. Find what you do well. "We can sew!" O.K. Bad example, textiles are cheap. "We like old people." Well lets go visit old people on Monday and Thursday nights. Eventually we'll get more old people to visit, but we'll also get more people excited about serving. A church that does something is a lot more attractive than a church that exists without a visible impact. Is your church existing? No business or church can merely exist. They either have a constant rebuilding or they die.

I think the whole idea of "The body" sometimes gets lost. The body has Specialization. It took the business world 1700 years to state what Paul stated. An eye is an eye. Its hard to pick stuff up with your eye, but not impossible; I just tried. A small church cannot expect to be like a big church, but that doesn't mean they still can't be very productive. White blood cells are some of the smallest specialized part of your body. As mine are thrown out of whack right now I can tell you they are very important. Small churches are important as well. Because you don't produce as much quantity as other churches that gives you the opportunity to focus on the quality. That's why small business still exist where there are Wal-Marts and that's why small churches still have a function and place where there is Fort Jesus.

Econ- Church. Find what your church does well and do focus on that. After you get too much participation in that field, then you start another area (like WM with the pharmacy).

Econ- Persons. Find what you do well and do that for the church. I don't have great planning skills. Partially b/c I hate planning. Nobody at church wants Paul Murphy on the worship committee. "Um. Turn to p. 454 and mark 289. The song after the invitation will be... umm.... 302." (All engine sizes). Paul Murphy is a good at doing, at setting up, and taking down. And its something I enjoy. Its why I love working at camp, I get to do stuff that helps out. Its my specialty.

Paul "Feet" Murphy

Dan's Car

I was just reminded of a hilarious Paul Murphy story.

So when I was going to college and living at 1106 E. Center street I would drive the shaggin' waggon to school every day. It was a cool house and I a really cool group of people to hang with. Had it not been for Peter Miller inviting Josh to live in that house I would have never met guys like Thomas K, Stoner, Jimmy Hinton, Jody M., and tons of other great people. Anyway...

On my morning commute to school I passed a house that some of my other friends lived in. They called it the "Party House." One of the guys drove this sweet old 70's car that stayed parked in the driveway. Another eccentricity of their house was they had a perpetual puddle on the road. Everyone just referred to it as "the puddle." Considering it was almost always raining in Arkansas while we were in school, there was also always a puddle on the road outside their house.

Now some cars would slow down on large puddle days when there was oncoming traffic, but not me and the shaggin' waggon. Every morning I would speed up after a stop sign in order to hit the puddle as fast as possible. I would careen into the puddle at 40, 50, and sometimes 60 mph in order to splash Dan's car that sat helplessly in the driveway. Every morning I got a good kick out of it.

Paul "the jerk" Murphy

My ride

Interesting conversation of the week

Philip: Man its kind of cold today
Me: Yah, it must be around 82 degrees

So it was misty and kinda cold today. I decided I'd ride my bike to Pago and back. As the crow flies it would have only been about a 15 mile ride. Unfortunately I can't fly over mt. montafao. So The entire ride was about 35 miles. It included a try at going up to Fagasa Pass (800ft). The climb was nasty steep. 200ft from the top I realized that I wouldn't be able to actually ride my bike back down b/c my brakes weren't tight and they were quite wet from the rain. One attempted ended with me plowing into somebodies yard.

I did manage to pass a few cars. I also learned to pass busses on the left, otherwise they turn into parking lots while your passing. Not good. It was a good ride. I think I'll have Philip drop me off on one end of the island and pick me up at the other. 14mi as the crow flies. Probably 50 by the time everythings done.

I also rediscovered the best energy drink ever. I remember looking in Wal-Mart for awhile searching for a high-carb energy drink to take to tournaments. Health freaks have taken over so now they only have high-protien low-carb stuff. But I need carbs. The answer: Hersey Cookie and Cream Shake. Its like a meal in a drink. Two should set you for at least half a day. But watch out for the fat and saturated fat. The cholestorol also happens to be pretty beafy. So make sure you go and run around after drinking one.

I think my last post set a record for lack of comments.

Paul "I'm not Lance" Murphy

Stupid Bracelets

You ever wonder what happened with all that money from the WWJD bracelets? I have. In the end I don't really care too much, it's all marketing. But the question still is a good one. What Would Jesus Do? It's a flawed question; almost unanswerable. Since four books were written to account Jesus' life a lot of history has gone by and culture has changed. Which Jesus are we talking about? The one who chill'd with prostitutes or the one who made a whip and beat people in the Temple? I've been angry many times in life and I realize that that is not a "bad" thing. Today I got angry, I mean really really angry. I'm not sure if Jesus would have done what Paul Murphy did.

Think of the most angry you have EVER seen me. In fact, I'd like you to tell about the time that you saw me get angry. I'm sure there are some funny stories. I was more livid today than I have been in in at least the last three years. This is what happened.

I was playing golf with Shaun and Dean. Anyways we're taking our last few puts on the first hole when a group of guys at the tee box yells. Thinking a ball is headed our direction we scurried off the green, but no ball fell. So I informed the tee guys we were finishing up. At this point I'm a little miffed.

Hole 2.
We take our tee shots. All three, Dean, Shaun and myself our in the fairway despite poor distance. Shaun and I wind up near each other and Dean is on the other side of the fairway. As I wait for Shaun to take his 3wood shot I hear "Dink." Dink is the distinctive sound a driver makes when it makes contact with a golfball. Shaun is not using a driver and neither is Dean leaving me to look behind us at the tee box. There the trailing group was teeing off while we were standing in the fairway. At this point miffed Paul turns into angry Paul. Angry Paul is irate that a golfball just zipped 15ft away from his head (and nobody said a "fore" or "fa"). Angry Paul begins walking toward and yelling at the other group of four Samoan golfers. (Now think of the loudest you've heard Paul. I've had lots of practice at Bison basketball games, but even then I usually wasn't angry. What's the loudest you've ever hear me? please post.) As I yell at these golfers for endangering my safety and being complete jerks they continue walking. The old man starts cursing at me. The younger guy says "look at the scorecard." Now the scorecard says "Reminder: Let faster groups play through." A. They barely had taken there 1st tee shots when I took my hole 2 tee. B. They didn't think you were too stupid to realize that you don't hit a golfball at someone, surely that doesn't have to be stated? As I yelled I made sure they understood I didn't mind letting them play through but I did expect them to be polite.

In the end I my words were fine. I didn't say anything that Christ would be angry at me about. My question is did I have the right to yell and be livid about the situation? Thoughts, opinions, recommendations?

btw- USGA rules on etiquette place safety far above speed of play.
I'm pretty sure today's stress has taken a few months off my life expectancy.

Paul "1 on 4 aren't good odds" Murphy

Airport Games

I have always enjoyed going to the airport. Its really a fun place to go and hang out. I remember one time when I was about 11 Josh and I went on a fabulous trip to the Atlanta airport. Now they have these baggage carts you can rent for $.75 and you got a quarter when you returned it to the rack. Josh and I spent two hours corralling carts and wound up with $12 in quarters that day. Seeing how the airport on island is the place to be I decided to list some of my favorite airport games (in no particular order).

1. Secretly weigh yourself on the baggage scale while the counter clerk isn't looking
2. See if you can sneek by the automatic door by walking very very slowly
3. Stare and smile at random people at the terminal exit area. People who look lost are the best. Waving gets you bonus points.
4. Available wheelchairs = Pimp ride and help finding your airplane
5. Car alarm roulette. Your "Panic" button doesn't just work on your car, trust me.
6. Sign. Write the person your waiting for's name on some cardboard. Underneath write something like "or hot chics" (one of my favorites)
7. Where'd Mimi go? She's getting older and gets lost easier. Its always fun asking the TSA people if they've seen your grandmother
8. Spot the Marshall. Though hard to spot, its always interesting trying to find the US Marshalls in the airport. Asking is even more fun. "Do you always carry a gun in the airport?"
9. Rolly carr-yon. See if you can get all of your luggage strapped to that 18in carry-on with wheels. (personal record of 148lbs)
10. Find Josh. Now this doesn't seem that difficult but you've got to try to figure out if he's coming inside or just circling around the pickup area, and they don't let him stop.
11. Pickup Josh. Also fun. A set your own difficulty game, but sometimes he looks like a hobo
12. Luggage Carasel Post-up. Much like being a center for an NBA team you have to race to the luggage carasel and secure your prime spot. Beware of possible "scrunchers" or "cutters."
13. Scrunching. Show up late to the luggage carsel and squeeze in between people. Bonus points for conversation starting afterwards.
14. DFZ Chess. Go into the Duty Free Zone and find a glass chess board. Begin playing.
15. Refill. Find a food joint with free refills and see how far you can stretch those $2 of Dr. Pepper
16. Devo. Go into the chapel and start your own devotional. Best if done with friends. Bonus points for getting others to join
17. Stairs. Not really a game but your large rear probably should take the stairs. Every bit helps, and I find them to be much faster, even up.
18. Shoeshine. Break out an old towl and bring some shine, then pretend to be a guy who shines shoes.

aight I'm out

Paul "Terminally Stupid" Murphy

My opposite

I've decided that Allyson is my opposite. We just don't seem to be able to agree on anything. Our personalities are completely different. So like the old good idea vs. bad idea I will have a Paul idea vs. Allyson idea

Paul vs Ally

Eating P- I love eating, and I'll eat almost anything
A- Chicken and nothing green
for $5.


Something Difficult I'll do it myself if it about kills me
A- "...can't"



The word Can't I hate it
A- Favorite word to say to Paul

Ideas Waaaaay outside the box
A- "can't"


A physical hike to a beach
Not just a good beach but a good walk out there, bonus points
A- I don't like that beach walk out there, bonus points


Driving Get there expediently
A- "You drive too fast"

Wiping Myself and hopefully nobody hears
A- "MOM!!!! I'M DONE!!!"

Respect Most people
A- All the teachers except Paul

Reciprocity O.K. I deserved that
A- Tears and lots of "I don't like Paul"

Swinging I wonder if I can get her upside-down
A- "That's too high!"

Shoes Just don't take someone else's
A- "But I want the pink ones!"


OK I'll try a PBC over/under

Number of times Paul Murphy will tell people he's not going to the "banquet"- 13
Number of camper and staff that asked- 0

Number of times Luke Close will tell somebody he's there father over his cool new W/T- 12
Number of times Allen will steal a W/T to say "Luke I am your father"- 4

aight I'm out

Paul "Can't never could" Murphy

Randomness

Well it's been a busy (Mozilla has spell check. It took me 4 times to spell that correctly) week, and apparently a little stressful. Today/Friday at school we have our Art's Festival. Now Paul Murphy is freaking brilliant, but an artist I am not. Anyway the costumes have been a pain. I've had to do way too much for my students. They don't realize that I don't really know what's going on. Worst is the festival is at night, so my Friday is pretty much shot...

I think it's important to celebrate certain anniversaries. Apparently so much I mentioned my own birthday on this blog and didn't really change it on Facebook, which I did to avoid random birthday wishes. Today was the 1300th day since Rachel and I went to Uncle Bob's BBQ in Searcy followed by a go-cart race. I won. I was going to break that streak tomorrow but there's the stupid arts festival. Dang-it, so close. I appreciate Philip pointing out the mail order brides. I joked once about that. I think the joke ended with Dementivia ending up getting stapled with a nail gun. She really would laugh for no one else.

Ok. I would also like to point out that one of my hero's, Doug Flutie, was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame. So here's my blog salute to the "...greatest football player of our generation"- John Madden.

The only non-Canadian ever inducted into the Canadian Sports Hall of Fame
Heisman winner 1984
Third in Heisman voting 1983
Won 32 Gray cup MVP awards (ok I made that up)
11th NFL all time passing yards
Oldest Player to rush for a TD
Was a scrappy player who did what it took to win games
Doug Flutie was known to throw blocks for his running backs
Sports Illustrated Comeback player of the year 1999

At almost 5'10" tall 180 lbs Doug Flutie took it to the man. When Pitt said he was too short he went and played for Boston. He later dominated Pitt. When the NFL said he wasn't tall enough he went to Canada and won several Gray cups; only to return and take the Buffalo Bills to the playoffs. And when the Bills replaced him with Doug Johnson and lost to the Tennessee Titans Flutie kept his composure. I still root against the Titans at any opportunity I get, freaking Music City Miracle. It was a FORWARD pass darnit. Oh and wait not only was he on the Wheaties box but it inspired him to use cereal to help children with autism. Thus Flutie Flakes and the Doug Flutie Jr. Foundation.

Paul "I've been looking for the Flutie Flakes" Murphy

Stephen,
I tried playing the video several times and it didn't work. Then I found the directions... I'm a little slow

Boxing

In college I use to watch a little wednesday night boxing or foxsports friday night fights. It was always small fights and rarely any good boxers. It was cheap programming. Growing up I remember mom never let us watch boxing or wrestling. Thank goodness b/c WWF WCW WEW or whatever are all overrated and basically gay. Who dresses up in tights, trash talks, then open-hand slaps their opponent. I'm not saying it doesn't take skill; I'm just saying its scripted and fake. It probably resembles ballet more than any sprot I can think of, especially not real wrestling. I also think that boxing was created by a gay person. C'mon, two guys in silk shorts compete for a purse (not original).

Anywho, I was offered the opportunity by my favorite Kiwi Heckler to help judge the Last Man Standing competition the other night. Now, this was a little different b/c they needed a big turnout so they offered something special. In order not to go into complete depth as to some of the "cultural irregularities" on the island I'll say this. There are some homosexuals on the island. They have a name, faafafige. They are ussually the base for a good number of jokes. So the promoter of the fight decided to have a Last Faafafige standing fights as well. And I, Paul Murphy, was to help judge all of the fights. Now I don't know all that much about how to score a boxing match but it was 10 point must and all I had to do was fill out score cards and tally up the totals. Easy cheesy. It did give me the opportunity to see two gay guys duke it out in the ring for free. I must say I did feel a little bad about the whole ordeal. I'm not sure it's right to use strage people, like dwarfs, to draw a crowd. Though I think if someone paid me to box in a palagi vs. samoan I'd jump at the chance for extra dough and a bit of the spotlight.

aight not so great of a post.
Lets see if I can get a good picture.
aight this blog stinks
Paul "Blue Corner" Murphy

A Rose by any other name...

About a year ago my good friend Kevin Burr alerted me about a BBC news story. I'm not kidding on this one. Burr and I died laughing for the next month or two every time we mentioned the article.

Basically a man in Juba, Sudan was caught having "relations" with another man's goat. "What are you doing there?" Instead of taking the man to the cops the animal offender was taken to the local council. The council ensisted that the goater pay the owner a dowry because he took the goat as his wife. Which is lucky because goats don't live past about 15 years old. In South Carolina he would have been sent to jail for statutory for about 12 years.

Apparently the goat was later named "Rose." Bad news folks, Rose the abused goat passed away a few days ago. Apparently she ate a plastic sack at a local landfill and choaked to death. I will now skip over any joke that could be made from the last sentence and offer you the link.

Goat story

Paul "Libel" Murphy

The Sweet Bike

As we all know Gus (the stinking truck that makes me want to cus) isn't the most reliable source of transportation. A few weeks ago I was out on Saturday (riding the sweet bus) and decided I would go buy a bike at Ace Hardware. Unfortunately Ace is not the place because they close at 12:00 on Saturday. So I didn't get my bike. Luckily the Rents got me one for my birthday via Ace. Its a sweet 18 speed Huffy.

I immediately began making the bike my own buy moddifying it. I first removed all of the stickers and decals. Especially the ones that said "where a helmet" and junk like that. I did leave one of the decals so it didn't look totally spartan. I adujusted the handelbars and tightened some things up. This is now my fourth bike I've taken to the streets in two and a half years. Two of the others are toast. One died in a marvelous explosion of parts when I took the 1980's street bike on a steep turn in the parking lot of the old married apartments. I too participated in that event of explosion. Another one was an older nice bike that I spent lots of lifeguarding dough fixing up. It never worked well and I lost some pieces in a night ride. That leaves my sweet yellow bike at home and my sweet Huffy bike here on the island.

Bikes are like cars. You can have a corvette but if you never take it out of the parking lot who cares? But if you take that old Datsun and drive it like you stole it, now that's hot.

Paul "Easy Rider" Murphy