Worst idea of the quarter

So it was decided that my students should play the recorder for the christmas program. I give that and oldschool "Alfie" Beeeebooop.
They sound O.K.

I've order my ticket back from sc and to sc this summer. Also my starter has been purchased. All I need to do now is wait for shipping.

Prayer requests

The English family. Missionaries here in Am. Sam. Mr. English had to go back stateside for medical treatmen

Most disgusting Pizza Hut story ever

Geckos are everywhere. And they don't look like the ones on the commercial. They're like catfish of your wall. The bigger they get the nastier they look. But they keep the mosquitos and termites at bay.

So last Sunday Colt decided that he wanted to go to "The Hut" after church for lunch. So we went to the hut to watch some football on the HD plasma and eat pizza. Jason, Jane and their family were there as well. So near the end of the meal Philip stands up and says something to the effect of do yall want to hear the most disgusting pizza hut story ever. I said yes expecting it to be like a Charlie Daniels recount song. Instead it turned out to be a Jack Black "greatest song ever" song. It was not a story from the past but of the present.
So Philip then recounts the events in progress. He had felt something fall on is head and shoulder but merely brushed it off. He then noticed it was small and black, Gecko poop. Philip looked above him and saw the tail of a large Gecko that just defficated on him. The Gecko was perched on a curtain rod that was covered by a wooden curtainrod-cover-thingy. So Philip looked into the cover and saw his Gecko. The problem and disgusting part is that it wasn't a gecko but a decent size rat. This is when Philip enitially asked us the distgusting Pizza hut story question.
So Philip decides to tell our waiter. He goes up to the counter and pulls the guy asside so the other customers wouldn't hear. He tells him the situation and the waiter looks concerned. Instead of the waiter grabbing a bucket and some mitten potholders he just asks Philip, "Is it big?" Is it big? Who gives a crap its a freaking rat that just pooped on my brother while he was eating in your fine establishment. By this time the ladies and kids went outside and the kids played on the playground.
Seeing as the waiter wasn't going to do anything Philip Jason and I decided to take care of the situation. Jason isn't scared of anything, he's broken several bones and had is glutious muscle torn completely from the bone. He's a beast. Except when it comes to rats. So Philip grabbed the empty Pepsi pitcher and I went to take down the curtain rod. As we brought the rod down, with rat on top, Philip swiped at the rodent; he missed; the rat came running at me. I was tableware defensless so I dropped my end of the rod. The rat ran underneath the sprawled cutains on the floor. So Philip and I switched sides. And began again.
By this time it was apparent to everyone in the resteraunt that someting was up. We even had one guy come over a take a picture. So the fight continued.
I picked up the curtains and Philip swiped again, and again narrowly missed the rat. This is also when things got out of control. The rat tried kamikazi-ing me again and I dodged succefully. But in its attempt it overran our table and continued to the next table with a large Samoan. The 240lb man jumped from his chair and kicked the rat across the resteraunt. The rodent then scampered away.
Unable to find the rat we discontinued our search. The rat surely headed to the conjoined KFC for dinner. (No pun there). An elderly samoan lady pulled me aside and said, "KFR, Kentucky Fried Rat."

Paul "rat wrangler" Murphy

A week later...

Well I haven't posted in over a week and for good reason. I hate posting when I don't have anything interesting or funny to post about. I tried ghetto rigging my solenoid. That didn't work. Then I managed to mess up Philip's electrical system on his trying to jump his car. Philip's car is now fine. In all I've wasted $36 on crap trying to fix my darn truck, pluls another $17 on tools. An $18 dollar "power port" (cigarette lighter) jumper cable system blew up on me after I tried making it work. My 14 gauge electrical wire worked as a jumper cable, but not as a switch to fix my explative adjective truck. It wouldn't be that bad but its combined with a few other things that make life difficult. Including the bank closing at 3:00 pm (just before I can make it) and their overnight deposit is the atm (which never has any freaking envelopes). This post has turned into what I'd tried avoiding; negative complaining about stuff. I'll buy my starter off ebay and hopefully get it before xmas break. If I get screwed on ebay I will make it my goal to hunt the person down and dunk them in a public restroom tolliet.

Tommorow- Most disgusting Pizza Hut story ever.

Paul

Upcoming posts
Now: Stupid college story
Wed: How to ghetto rig a solenoid
Thrs: How life relates to frisbee, and not the other way around
Fri: No post due to
Sat: Corralling 9 kids at Colt's B-Day and Is Hell personalized?

Now: Stupid College story

As any good college student I have one too many stupid college stories. Most don't make much sense outside the actual events. My tied for longest roomate, Stephen Jennemann and I roomed together my soph. year. It was a great year. Stephen always had neat toys. He's one of the only guys I knew that always had enough tools to slaughter and clean a pig as well as rewire an entire Nissan Sentra at any point in the day. One of my stupidest memories is when Stephen and I decided to start testing his pellet rifle for accuracy. With the 4x scope we realized that Stephen could hit a tight 3in. cirlcle from 100yards. The way we tested this was to stick a target on the opposite dorm then crack our window and shoot. We soon were bored with the target and being winter few birds were outside our window, so we switched our target. Luckily there was a steady traffic of targets you could time every afternoon at 1:00 2:00 and 3:00. The fastest way to get to your room in Harbin was to walk through our firezone. We hit a lot of people, mostly in the pants or bookbag. It was fun until we realized that it was winter and every other dorm room had its windows closed. We realized it wouldn't be long until we got found out so we had to retire our sniping gear.

Paul Murphy

(Random Useless Title)

Well this weekend is going OK. We were suprised when we were alerted earlier in the week we would be getting friday off for Veteran's Day.
I've noticed that whenever my truck goes down I started getting sad. One of my goals is to be completely self-sufficient. Last year I was pretty self-sufficient paying for housing, food, school, and whatnot. I realize that living with Philip and Jaime is not being self-sufficient (sS from not on), but I'm not making a killing with my current salary.
So Morty (the truck)'s starter is gone, and by gone I mean broke. More specifically the attatched Solenoid is no longer working. I went to NAPA and they said it would be $317 for a new starter. Later I called and they said they didn't sale just the solenoid. So I've been shopping online for a solenoid, and have reduced my impending purchase to $30. Murphy Cheap pays off. But still I won't actually get the part for a while and the truck is paralyzed from the neck up; dead. Worse is I always get depressed when my truck breaks b/c it means I'm not sS at all. I have to get rides to work, from work, the store, and stuff. Yesterday I walked/ran about 6 miles to get around town. My heals are bleeding.
I remember one time my good friend David Hayes said his dream was to be a Hermit. What a stupid idea. But, as a hermit you only have yourself to take care of and can be completely sS. Being a hermit appeals to me more now.
Also I think my truck going down makes me miss playing mainland sports, frisbee being top, football, and stuff. I really need to get out and play more.

In a final note I bought a pig, training and supplies for a family in Uganda to hold up my end of the Pig Challenge.

Paul Murphy

Oh last thing. Movie recommendation for the week
Saint Ralph but note the PG-13 rating for our younger viewers. Hilariously funny. Jeremy Stoneburner def. needs to rent this one.

Change

I both like and dislike change. Change is good for buying stuff, like Dr. Pepper. It is also handy when trying to occupy yourself by playing games like "quarter soccer," "nickle basketball," and my personal favorite "Dr. Pepper Pong."
There are also another type of change, some I like some I don't. I don't like my parents changing my room at home around, or switching mattresses. I don't like it when the weather changes from nice and warm to cold, wet, and Buck nasty. I don't like changes in stuff like that. I do like other changes. One thing I've learned from my Dad is that you can do anything on a "trial basis." If you like it, you keep it, otherwise toss it. When people complain you can always say, "It was only on a trial basis." It's kinda like when Burger King had the Whopper for $1 for a limited time. But that limited time lasted over two years. I liked BK. Then they took it away and I haven't been to BK but for when Chik-fil-A is closed on Sundays.
Most of the time I am just anxious about change. I'm eager to see how things will turn out. I'm eager to see how the newly elected congress will work. Now I've taken on the belief that local government affects much more than National but Natty gets more press. I also don't like either, make that, any political party. There beasts not appropriate to Democracy. Members of the House don't vote on what they believe to be right, they vote on what the party tells them to in hopes to get their money for re-election in two years. Blah blah blah we've all heard me ramble on this before. So I'm anxious to see how this whole "new congress" thing will turn out. Maybe trepidation is a better word. I don't know what to expect, but as the constant optomist I have hope. Maybe its time for some change. Maybe members of Congress will throw off there predispositions to bickering and pouting. We might actually get something done. Maybe we can "fix" Iraq ( And by fix I mean risbee). But in a resonable manner. Maybe we can cut spending. Maybe we can stop bugging Wal-Mart about not paying more than minimum wage b/c they follow supply and demand of Econ. So what if they don't offer health benifits to employees, nobody I've ever worked for said, "hey you wants some health benifits?" And I've worked for the gov. Oh btw, if your butt didn't bother to graduate Highschool and decided to get drunk, high and knocked-up then no I don't think you deserve to get paid more than $5.25/hour when peeps in AS get $2 even if they were top of their graduating class.

Paul "I combined too many posts" Murphy

Predators

There are some problems on the island, one of which is the overpopulation of dogs. Now the dogs on the island aren't like dogs back home. There is really no breed of dog, they are all something akin to a dingo and hyena. They're about as agressive too. Some veteranarians take a vacation to come here and "fix" all the dogs they can get a hold of every once-in-a-while. It doesn't do much.
Gerrard
Gerrard is a cool kid at school. He originally hales from the Solomon Islands. Gerrard is a beast at soccer. He schools all the other third graders. In fact, he schools all the other fourth, fifth and sixth graders as well. He's not that tall but incredible with the footwork. If I was stuck on a desert island I would want Gerrard as one of my three things. Between him and Ray, one of the kids at church, catching food I would never go hungry. Both are beasts and probably bound for professional athletics. As Philip said, if Ray doesn't wind up in the NFL he'll be the dictator of a small country.
Back to the dogs. One of the biggest problems with the dogs is that they have no natural predator, or people that care about them. Some dogs walk around with massive tumors. Sometimes the tumors make the dogs look funny. I decided, like agent Smith, that dogs are not an organism but a virus on the island. Something needs to be higher on the food chain besides the occasional traditional Tongan or Korean. I've decided to start hunting dogs in order to fix the problem. I've been eyeing a slingshot at Ace. I've also been shopping the intrarnet for a good Stephen Jennemann style pellet rifle. I don't know, maybe I should just convince Gerrard and Ray to start taking to dogs out for me.

Paul "Wasting N. Korea trade resources" Murphy

The only thing to fear is fear itself, and that,

I remember watching one too many discovery channel specials on dating. That's funny. I also remember thinking that I was, genetically, a stud. But I'm short and that doesn't help anything. I remember in my highschool American History class my teacher talking about the Vietnam war and how short guys would have to go into the tunnels the VC made with a .45 and a flashlight. Naturally I got used as an example of short guy.
This summer I finished "Marine Sniper: 93 confirmed kills" during a trip to TX. Despite its gorry sounding title it was insightful and thought-provoking. Its the story of Carlos Hathcock and his two campaigns in Vietnam. To this day Hathcock holds the longest confirmed snipe, 2600 yards. But in the book it talks about a VC woman sniper that would torture US soldiers outside the firebase to demoralize the troops inside. She did bad things, really bad things. On a patrol after one night of hearing their commrad in severe pain US soldiers found a body tied to a tree with a basket on his head. The VC had tied a basket over the soldiers head then dumped in a lot of rats. All the patrol soldiers found was a basket with a hole where the rats chewed their way out and a skull.
So like the short US soldiers in "nam" I went chasing a dead smell last night under the house, known home of the flesh eating giant rat Bertha. Bigger than the pictured rat (of previous post) Bertha is the size of a cat, but with shorter legs and longer tail. Also instead of the issue .45 pistol I had the trusty .pitching wedge and flashlight combo. I'm pretty sure T. Roosevelt never thought of having to crawl under a house with a giant rat when he said his famous title line quote. I was afraid lastnight, and rightfully so. That's what I get for taking up another one of Philip's dares.

Paul "longest unconfirmed pw wack" Murphy