Most disgusting Pizza Hut story ever

Geckos are everywhere. And they don't look like the ones on the commercial. They're like catfish of your wall. The bigger they get the nastier they look. But they keep the mosquitos and termites at bay.

So last Sunday Colt decided that he wanted to go to "The Hut" after church for lunch. So we went to the hut to watch some football on the HD plasma and eat pizza. Jason, Jane and their family were there as well. So near the end of the meal Philip stands up and says something to the effect of do yall want to hear the most disgusting pizza hut story ever. I said yes expecting it to be like a Charlie Daniels recount song. Instead it turned out to be a Jack Black "greatest song ever" song. It was not a story from the past but of the present.
So Philip then recounts the events in progress. He had felt something fall on is head and shoulder but merely brushed it off. He then noticed it was small and black, Gecko poop. Philip looked above him and saw the tail of a large Gecko that just defficated on him. The Gecko was perched on a curtain rod that was covered by a wooden curtainrod-cover-thingy. So Philip looked into the cover and saw his Gecko. The problem and disgusting part is that it wasn't a gecko but a decent size rat. This is when Philip enitially asked us the distgusting Pizza hut story question.
So Philip decides to tell our waiter. He goes up to the counter and pulls the guy asside so the other customers wouldn't hear. He tells him the situation and the waiter looks concerned. Instead of the waiter grabbing a bucket and some mitten potholders he just asks Philip, "Is it big?" Is it big? Who gives a crap its a freaking rat that just pooped on my brother while he was eating in your fine establishment. By this time the ladies and kids went outside and the kids played on the playground.
Seeing as the waiter wasn't going to do anything Philip Jason and I decided to take care of the situation. Jason isn't scared of anything, he's broken several bones and had is glutious muscle torn completely from the bone. He's a beast. Except when it comes to rats. So Philip grabbed the empty Pepsi pitcher and I went to take down the curtain rod. As we brought the rod down, with rat on top, Philip swiped at the rodent; he missed; the rat came running at me. I was tableware defensless so I dropped my end of the rod. The rat ran underneath the sprawled cutains on the floor. So Philip and I switched sides. And began again.
By this time it was apparent to everyone in the resteraunt that someting was up. We even had one guy come over a take a picture. So the fight continued.
I picked up the curtains and Philip swiped again, and again narrowly missed the rat. This is also when things got out of control. The rat tried kamikazi-ing me again and I dodged succefully. But in its attempt it overran our table and continued to the next table with a large Samoan. The 240lb man jumped from his chair and kicked the rat across the resteraunt. The rodent then scampered away.
Unable to find the rat we discontinued our search. The rat surely headed to the conjoined KFC for dinner. (No pun there). An elderly samoan lady pulled me aside and said, "KFR, Kentucky Fried Rat."

Paul "rat wrangler" Murphy