Swindled

Today I had a list of things to do.

Get UPA waivers sent off. Check
Buy DC power inverter. Stole Dad's. Check
Mow lawn at the house. Check
Print off all 7 different versions of my resume. Check
Get ready to move to the woods. I'll be ready by tomorrow.

On my way home from errands I stopped for the 79 cent Dr. Pepper at the Circle K. But strange things were a foot at the Circle K. After I bought my DP I found a guy outside selling Peaches. I figured I'd buy some peaches from this farmer, as its really close to the end of the season. Last chance for fresh peaches for the whole year. So I spent $10 on a bag. But then I noticed something weird as I drove away. Something I hadn't seen driving up.

Now when I first drove up to the guy and his truck I didn't notice the huge mistake I was making. I thought about asking, but thought it might be rude. I should have considering it was the Exit 1 circle K. But as I drove away I saw he had a Georgia license plate. I just bought Georgia Peaches! Huge mistake.

Now for those of you who are thinking "Oh, Georgia Peaches. That sounds nice. Georgia is the Peach State, so what's the big deal?" I'll excuse your ignorance. Georgia is the Peach State, but that's like saying New York is the Friendly State, Hawaii is the Cold State, and California is the Sane State. Sure there are friendly people in New York, Snow on Kilawaia, and people who aren't out of there mind in Cali, but those aren't exactly the quintessential characteristics of those states.

South Carolina produces more peaches than Georgia and any other state. Why? Because South Carolina peaches are better. The look better, taste better, and are bigger. I live just south of the largest peach producing area in the US- Edgefield County, and somehow I've managed to buy Georgia Peaches. Stink. I'm so aggravated.

Paul "Noah's Wife?" Murphy

Jobs

Well its almost time for school to start and I still don't have a job. Which is ok. I mean, really, there's tons of stuff a B.A. in Social Science and a M.S.E. qualifies me for. Tons of stuff. Tons... of stuff. I just haven't found it. Its starting to get a little frustrating, but today I finally found a job I could excel at.

I was searching through the Discovery Channel's job listings. I was hoping to find something really cool like "Man vs. Wild terrain scout", "Shark week underwater photographer", "Deadliest Catch survival suit tester", or "Cash Cab question junkie." I didn't find those. What I did find was amazing.

As I scrolled through the job listings of sales and manager positions I found something I could dominate. The job title simply said "Preditor." Which I thought would be amazing. I would make a dominating preditor. I could kill lots of stuff. Maybe I'd get a chance to go Man vs Wild against Bear Grylls. Yeah, that's a job I could get into. Attacking stuff as a Preditor.

Unfortunately I was not blessed with an acute eye for spelling. Apparently "Preditor" and "Predator" are two different things. They weren't looking for a ferocious human being to attack stuff (which I'd have dominated) but someone to look at film and scripts before the real EDITOR, or the Pre-Editor. Stink.

Well that leaves me with a few more options. I can always work at Taco Bell. Or I could do something in the construction field. I'm not desperate yet. I mean I can alway find work as a male prostitute, which is disappointing as well. Apparently your still being hired by dudes.

Paul "'bout to go Thoreau on society" Murphy
I can eat squirrels

The Weekend

Well I had a solid weekend. Friday I went to L-town and hung out with Aimee. I also made the first of many dumb pmurph comments to her dad.

A conversation between Aimee, her dad, and myself

blah blah blah...


Aimee- "Oh its about 10:30. Paul and I are going to go play four square."

Me- (to her dad) "That's what she calls it..."

Things could have been worse. I could have said "I've only gotten to the third square" wow I just started thinking of other things and it got pretty bad fast. So we won't play that game.

In other news I went and visited Morgan C. and Gloria in Charlotte on monday. We had a blast. It was really good to be able to catch up with people after my two year absence. We also got to see Gloria's work that was being displayed in the Habitat for Humanity coffee house. Solid work Gloria.

If you'd like to check it out its at www.gloriacave.com

Paul "I say dumb stuff" Murphy

oh still no job