Panic! at Midnight

I never know how much to discuss about my current trip. On the one hand I could say stuff like... (backspaced out). True, yes. Accurate, ehhh. So I don't know how much to divulge of my NZ exploits.

Many of my actions tend to be high-risk high-reward type stuff. I think that's how I can continuously come up with stuff to write for this blog. Paul Murphy makes another blunder in an attempt for greatness. I guess Dad was right, I don't think a lot of things through. But that's how I roll yo. And that's how I fall flat on my face and wind up making a fool out of myself then post it to all my friends to read.

New Years Eve I was making my way up from Queenstown to Aukland riding the bus. So NYE I found myself in the small seaside former whaling town of Kaikura. It was small and not much to do. So after I trekked out to see a few fur seals I went back to the room and crashed around 5pm New Years Eve.

I woke up around 11 pm by the bad cover band blaring outside the window. The NYE party was on, and I was sleeping it off. How lame. So my brain got to thinking. I decided that I should go join the party on the street and find a good looking lady to stand by when the clock stroke 12. We'd have our celebratory kiss and I could go to bed. I was also hungry b/c I missed supper. Brilliant. I really don't think things through though.

So I went down to the streets where people were partying and a little on the drunk side as a whole. It was an hour till midnight so I sat in a small roadside park and watched drunk people. Drunk people are funny. Then the drunk people spotted me sitting by myself and decided to talk to me. Nuts. Should have thought that one through. So I talked to some guy and his plank of wood he'd drawn a face on. Then one of the girls asked how old I was.

When asked how old you are its always good to lie. Period. There isn't an advantage to telling someone the correct age. Especially girls. I made the mistake and told her 23. Nuts.
"How old do you think I am?" came the reply from the inquisitive girl.
Nuts. Another question you shouldn't answer correctly. There's only one reason someone would ask that- they're too young. Nuts. Brain-"Get the smash out of here!!"
"you look... ... ... eight." (17???)
Drunk people don't like strange answers. So I gave a few more and they left me alone. Back to my search for a good looking lady to position myself next to. And I could use some food.

So I found the "Speights" sign and went in. I got a "hotdog" (corndog) and some fries. That should hold me over. Now to listen to the bad cover band and eat my food, and scope out a good place to stand.

As I sat there eating my food and listening to the music, and searching for a place to stand, I apparently caught the attention of my plump bus driver. So she came over and sat down and we had a conversation. All the while I was panicking. This isn't what I wanted. I was supposed to find a hot german girl or something. Anything but the bus driver!? Oh snap. Then I started to panic.

My horribly planned plan began to crumble as it ticked closer to midnight and I was still carrying a conversation with the bus driver. Nice girl, just not the plan. Some of her friends came over and we talked a little more. There was no way out at 1 minute till 12. I was toast. And so ended the brilliant plan of Paul Murphy. I dodged a quick kiss and went for the hug. I quickly came up with some lame excuse and bolted for bed, narrowly escaping further pursuit of physical contact. Whehww.

Paul "Moron" Murphy