More Moron Moments

I have a tendancy to say dumb stuff sometimes. It happens. Sometimes Its because I'm an idiot. Sometimes because I'm trying to be funny- and I'm not. Humor takes a while to accurately grasp. Here's another Paul Murphy trying to be funny moments.

My third grade teacher was Mrs. Fox at Ridge Spring Monetta Elementary. RSM for short. From what I remember Mrs. Fox was a nice lady with long fingernails, and long brown hair. I think she was in her forties, but I'm not sure. She was definitely better than Mrs. Cockrel, who Josh had to put up with for his year of third grade.

Mrs. Fox always had new ideas on how to inspire kids to do well in class. One day she promised everyone who got a 90 or better on a quiz that she would buy us icecream. Now it wasn't real icecream it was the kind that you get a school or camp that comes in a presized styrofoam container and a tin lid. But it was still icecream; sort of. Being the brilliant third grader I naturally dominated whatever quiz it was, and began waiting for my icecream to come wednesday.

Wednesday. In the morning Mrs. Fox had us doing some trivial exercise about something. I don't remember what it was but I was bored. When I'm bored my brain thinks of dumb things. So Mrs. Fox went on with the activity. She eventually asked the class, "What things remind you of a hot air balloon?" Now I was bored and hadn't been paying a lot of attention so I'm not sure to the context of the question. All I know is I saw an opportunity for a joke. I raised my hand.

Seeing that I may actually have been paying attention while staring at the walls, Mrs. Fox was eager to call on me to answer her very elementary question. I was a bright student so I'm sure there may have been some abstract thought she was awaiting like, an imagination; because its bright and colorfull and can take you places you've never been. But that's not me.

"You remind me of a hot air balloon!" The other students giggled. "Becuase you're big and full of hot air!" The classroom errupted in laughter. I had made my joke. It was good, and everybody laughed; except Mrs. Fox.

Later that day after lunch she carried a tray full of white icecream containers in. She called students to the back of the class to pickup their reward and return to their seats to feast. As the names went by I kept expecting mine to come up. But name after name it didn't. I didn't understand what went wrong, and being me I wasn't going to question my teacher. But I still couldn't understand why I didn't get my icecream.

I got home and told my mom first about the hillarious joke I made during class. She laughed, then told me it wasn't very nice. Then I lamented about not getting icecream and explained to my mother how some mixup probably happened. Mom laughed. "You called your teacher a hot air baloon and expect to get icecream?!" Mom laughed at me for a while. Then she told everybody in the house.

Sheesh, I didn't know making jokes about middle aged women was such and offense to have icecream stripped away from an 8 year old.

But now I know.

Paul "A little slower than your average bear" Murphy