Stories of a Moron

Monday, January 15, 2007

Hiking and another stupid story (worth the time and effort)

Stupid story first

So I have some interesting family members. One of my favorites is my cousin B.J. He's a big ole boy about 6'5" and built. B.J. is a classic country boy and still believe in the code of chivalry. He also dumped his last gf b/c she mentioined the "m" word after they had been dating for four months. Anyways B.J. use to drive an old 1984 Chevy Blazer, V8, and 8miles/gallon. One day Josh and I hopped in the Blue Blazer and B.J. asked us for our music preference. We really didn't care; we were about to go shoot stuff. So B.J. asked us if we wanted to listen to "Beet Hoven." Josh nor I had ever hear of the country star but we thought it'd be aight. B.J. reaches back and pulls out the 8-track cartridge and stuck it in the player. To Josh and I's amazment it wasn't country... or rap... or anything else we would have ever expected. "Beathoven" syphony began blarring over the "Blue Ox's" 8-track stereo. Where did B.J. get a Beathoven 8-track? Where did he get an 8-track at all? It was kind of relaxing to listen to a syphony before we killed rodents.

Hiking
So Sunday afternoon I decided that I would finally climb the highest peak on the volcanic island. 1200 ft above sea level. So I packed my gear.

Thanks first of all to Kevin, Jesse, and Maddy for my cool sleeping bag and tent. Also thanks to Morgan Norris for offering me a chance to go through her "give-a-way" pile before it went to Good Will. I got some sweet Timberland hiking boots out of it. Lastly thanks to Mom and Dad for my cool new LED headlamp. Without any or all of these things my trip wouldn't have been possible.

I had heard of a trail enterance near the West end of the island so that's where I had Philip drop me off. Philip said I was crazy. It was about 6 p.m. when I started. I began hiking next to a cow pasture. The pasture soon ended and I was out in the Jungle. I crossed a stream and a really cool water fall. I got a picture but it's on a disposable camera with 21 pictures left. So I kept going through jungle hoping to find this so called "path." I later realized it was a path that went somewhere I didn't want to go. So eventually it got dark and I noticed a road up the way. I walked toward the road and found it to be the same road I came in on. So I walked that way until I found the ridge line again. It being really dark (new moon and cloud cover) the headlamp came in handy. Also my strict adhearence to the Hikers code of "leave no trace" meant I didn't have a machete. They also cost $10. So I was struggling to get through the jungle/rainforest at night. I was zig-zagging back and forth trying to stay on the ridgeline in the dark. Eventually I went too far one direction and had a slip down a cumbersome slope. Translation- I started falling down a dirt cliff before catching myself on a sappling struggling to grow out of the cliff. I continued on for another hour and a half. I realized that I had not packed enough water to complete my trip and the "Warning: don't drink the water; Lyprosis" sign meant I wasn't picking any up along the way. So I tried going on but ran into a really steep hill (cliff) that I was not willing to risk at night. I wound up walking down a creek downstream from a cowpasture. Ummm I love bacteria. I got home after mid-night some time. I decided those setbacks weren't stopping my camping trip so I set up my really cool one-man tent and hopped in. I would have slept like a baby except dogs kept barking at me and my cool tent.
Sae la vi.
For those of you that don't French that means "Oil for French Folks."

Paul "don't wear shorts hiking through the jungle" Murhy

5 Comments:

  • I still think you're crazy. Let me know how those scratches on your bare legs feel after marinating in "Diaper Creek" for an hour or so. If you don't get a staph infection, I'll be utterly amazed.

    I still think you should simply refer to your trip at a cow-tipping experience gone awry.

    I also think you may have interposed your numbers... Matafao is 2100 feet.

    By Blogger Philip, at 1/16/2007 1:20 AM  

  • yup, 'c'est la vie' all right. funny story. somewhat courageous. glad to hear you made it out all right. catch ya.

    By Blogger Paulo J, at 1/16/2007 2:06 PM  

  • Tents, sleeping bags and lights...what is the modern day explorer coming to?

    I my day we were armed with nothing more than a bottle of polluted water (which we had to pollute ourselves) and a spare pair of thermal undies.

    We had to make the environment our home. You are lucky you were climbing a little hill, in the tropics, with enough flora to sustain a native for his entire life.

    Didn't have that in my day. Your story makes me think we are producing men these days that couldn't wipe their butt without the assistance of two ply aloe vera injected ultra soft toilet tissue.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/17/2007 2:34 PM  

  • Paul, you are welcome for the shoes, they didn't fit me at all.
    And slightly off subject, if Danny quits over the writing on the rear, why does that mean you want DK's job? Just curious. But, even I knew about your previous "all dressed up" episodes, and I didn't live here at the time. The stories of your exploits really get around. It is really that much cooler with shorts on too? I would think that would be hot, like pantyhose.
    --MNK

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/17/2007 6:22 PM  

  • I also wonder:
    Is wearing shorts under a mandress just like wearing pantyhose?

    By Blogger Josh M, at 1/18/2007 7:31 PM  

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