Engineering, Rejection, and David Spade

Christmas was good. Although my family abandoned me and left to go see other family I persevered. This makes two Christmases in a row that I haven't been able to spend with my family. It was cool though because Aimee's family invited me over for lunch and a movie or two. Good stuff.

A lot of people think about gifts this time of year. Whether its that cool Wall E robot toy or Emanuel I think everybody has stopped to think about gifts at some point or another.

Today I was thinking about some of the best gifts my parents ever gave me. Photon was good but not the best. I think some of the best gifts mom and dad gave me were the brilliant life lessons they would share from time to time.

Dad on engineering and relationships
Dad works as an engineer. While he's not the greatest people person ever he has some phenomenal insight on what makes people work. Now dad never has given the best advice on dating or romance, but every now and then he'll surprise you. He often skips valentine's day and rarely takes mom out. I still like his ideas on relationships.

Every relationship has issues. Dad says that a relationship is like a rubber band attaching two objects. Generally any stress (conflict) put on the rubber band (relationship) will eventually bring the two objects (people) closer together. But that's not always the case. Sometimes the people move so far away that the band breaks. Sometimes there is just stress (conflict) and there is just tension sitting on the relationship. At that point you have a choice: Leave the tension in the relationship, Take the relationship off, or shift.

Dad says conflict is an inequality between expectation and action. So when conflict arrives its either because of a change in expectation or action. The engineer solution is simple: Either change the expectation, or change the action.

Rejection
I get rejected by Aimee a lot. At least it feels like a lot. And don't understand why either because I've had some really good ideas.
1. Lets go to Vegas
2. You quit school and I'll quit my job so we can hang out more
3. Lets go to Charleston (Every time we get on I-26 East, its only 2 hrs)
She could have easily replaced David Spade in those annoying Capital One commercials with her incessant rejections. Most of the time I'm getting rejected for my ideas of ways to spend more time together.

I've been working a lot of weird hours, Aimee works and goes to school, and most of the time we're 6 hours away from each other. We don't get to hang out that often. Sometimes it causes conflict. But I've got a choice- win the lottery so I don't have to work, get out of the relationship, or change my expectations. Since I don't play the lottery and there's no way I'm getting out unless she kicks me out, that leaves me with changing my expectations. Easy out. This next semester Aimee will be both working more and taking on a greater course load. I don't expect I'll get to see her much. But it won't last forever, and I'll wait for her on the other end of August.

Paul "I love Aimee" Murphy