The Clock Dealer (long)

Ok last post in the series of social change.

The Industrial Revolution, WWII, and everything else has created a drastic change in our society. We now have the independent woman. Something quite remarkable because it was unthinkable 200 years ago. But the independent woman has changed social behavior.

Dating. Way back when dating wasn't like it is now. Courting I believe was the term. Basically, young men would sit in the living rooms of a family and talk during the evening. If he seemed like he was a good worker and honest person the coulple would usually get married. You found someone to help support you. It was very practical. And mariages ussually lasted a lot longer. (Bad logic courting = better marriages)

Things are different now. During the Victorian era the Romanticist ideas came about. Things got less practical. Life was more complicated. Life became less about survival and more about stuff. People started looking for partners that not only could support them but support them fashionably. At first it was a Burgeosis thing, but as time went on and the middle class began to triumph it became and everybody thing.

Now instead of looking for an honest person who was a hard working, men and women alike were looking for something more. We became more picky. Now it mattered what type of car he/she drove. Or how big her mothers bottom was; or fathers receeding hair line. It became about clothes and fashion and finding your soul mate. It astonishes me how for thousands of years marriages did just fine when people weren't looking for their soul mate.

It gets more complicated with the introduction of the independent woman buy the '70s. Before men had to worry about wooing the ladies in one way or the other. Woman were an inelastic quantity, the supply didn't change. 1 woman for 1 man. The demand stayed the same so guys continued to have to work and be charming to get a wife. But then the 60's and 70's came.

The independent women changed a lot of stuff. First of all the supply started to become more elastic as women started forgoing the 1:1 thing as they threw off the bonds of tradition. Suddenly men didn't have to work as hard at getting what they wanted and price of the stock fell faster Enron. It might as well be free. And that's when Chivalry died.

Nowdays we see dating as something completely strange from the past. Woman want the old higher price but with the market saturated in the product. Like the old saying goes, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Suddenly the men have come into demand. Women have to work at getting a good husband. And some woman don't seem to be happy with it.

I read this last week. It made me think alot about the social changes that have caused this situation. And people approach the problem in different ways. Woman market themselves to men. Men take the bait. It completely left the entire system in shambles. Its turned dating into a marketing campaign.

The Clock dealer analogy. Dating today has turned into something astranged of the past. Economists talk clocks and antiques when talking about positive outcomes. Basically you have a buyer and a seller. If the clock gets bought then both have had a positive outcome. Use to courting was a clear deal. Men looked for a good clock that kept time. Women looked for a solid buyer that could take care of the clock.

Its differnt now with the infusing of the independent woman and romanticism. Suddenly women are looking for a buyer with a big house and that likes Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movies. Men are looking for neat features in the clock like ornate designs and cool chimes. Fashion plays a role as well. People try to put their best foot forward while dating. Its like a buyer looking for a fashionable Rococco clock. The dealer knows thats fashionable so tries to explain how his clock is very similar to the Rococco clocks. In fact it might as well be the same. But both parties are dissapointed when the clock gets brought home. Suddenly the features are different b/c that's what was expected.

I see married people dating. In fact I'm to the point where I think I'm on the downhill side of wedding invitations. Sometimes they portray themselves as something they're not really. A girl will be flirty and fun loving while dating, and a guy will be mature and love art. Suddenly when they get married she turns out to be a real worrier and he really loves playing video games. The clock gets talked up and taken home and turns out to be something different.

I like old couples. I like talking to them about how they got married. Its simpler. Dr. Barry and Nurse Karen's story is my favorite. I'll tell it how I want to. Basically Dr. Barry was in Medical school and was a bright young man after graduating from Georgia Tech. Nurse Karen was a bright young woman in nursing school. Mrs. Karen had to coax Dr. Barry into calling her one night to go out. They started dating for a while, but Dr. Barry didn't want to get married without a job. Nurse Karen got tired of it and put together a budget for them and showed Dr. Barry how they'd make it if they just went ahead and got married. Romantic? Not classically. Practical? Very, and that practical attitude has kept them together ever since. At least thats how I see it.

A clock dealer and buyer. They each had an idea of what was important in a clock. When they found it, the clock went home. Easy as that. So what's importnant in a clock? Dad always says that if two people focus on their relationship with God first then everything else will work out. So we'll call a relationship with God keeping time well; what's a clock that doesn't keep time? Some people like pretty wood clocks that are ornate with nice carvings that will look good on the wall, while others want something they can take along in life. Some people like old fashioned clocks. Some like newer stylish clocks. Some like to work on the clock, while others prefer the low maintanence version.

I think a clock would be cool to have. Do I need one? Not really. Some people are looking for a clock to complete them, that's not me. I guess if I got a clock it would have to be more of a someone to join me in my complete life. It needs to be durable and portable. It needs to be water resistant up to 30 meters, because I like going in the water. It needs to be something that I can take to play frisbee in. It needs to be able to survive repeated lay-out attempts. It needs to be low maintenance, I don't want to be winding it or replacing the battery all the time. It needs to be practical. It doesn't need to be shiny or new. It doesn't have to have a calculator, chronograph, or gps. It needs to keep time well, be durable, portable, and able to take a spill. Like the Armitron Men's Digital sport watch.

Paul "More like a chapter" Murphy