The Snake (part 1)
I grew up in a house that was in the sticks. Sometimes we said we lived in the woods. Which strangely enough M.C. Hammer did not live next to us, which is what I thought for a long time. KFC had a commercial with Hammer and their tag line was "Come on down to our neck of the woods." I thought, "hey that's where I live." But come to find out we weren't neighbors...
Growing up in the woods you learn there are very few rules and fewer cardinal sins. We had rules like "Don't go past the paved road on your bicycle without permission." It was like 2 miles away and uphill so it didn't really matter. "Don't stay out past dark." There are lots of scarry things in the woods so we didn't really have a problem with that one. But the greatest cardinal sin that was NOT funny was faking a snake sighting. We had lots of snakes around the house. In fact we had a little boat shed by the pond that we lovingly refered to as "The snake house." We had every pit-viper kind in North America on the 30 acres of land; Rattlesnakes, Copperheads, and Watermoccasins. At the age of 4 I could identify a poisonous snake from a "friendly" snake. But one thing you didn't do was falsly identify seeing a snake to get a rouse out of your brother. It's not nice.
So one day I was doing some yard work. I was about 7 years old and working a weed-wacker clumsily. Suddenly I saw a brown snake begin to crawl up the stairs next to where I was doing the wacking of weeds. I quickly alerted my moms and the "Snake Gun" was pulled into action. Now the "Snake Gun" was a .22 magnum & 20 gauge shotgun over-under setup with a sweet scope. I always wanted to shoot it but was never given the opportunity at the young age. So Philip lined up on the snake and shot it; the head completely destroyed. Then we drug the snake into the yard and started poking at our newly killed Copperhead. Snakes are kinda funny in that they keep moving after they have no head. Then I thought of a brilliant plan of what to do with our dead snake.
Dad ussually got home from work around 6:30-7 pm, well after dark. So I thought it would be a great idea to coil the snake up next to the door so that when dad looked down to turn the doorknob he would have a nice 4ft long poisonous copperhead staring back at him. Sure the snake didn't have a head but it would still be scarry for him and a good ruse for the rest of us. So dad came home later that evening and sure enough went straight for the door. He opened the door and entered the house to some bewildered faces. Obviously he didn't see it. "Didn't you leave something in your car?" someone suggested.
"Umm, no."
"You should go check just in case you left something."
"Uhhhh, ok."
He walked right by it again. So on his return trip it was apparent that he wasn't going to see it so Philip sprung into action.
"Ohhh! there's a snake next to your foot!!"
Now I don't hold the next three seconds of Dad's reaction against him. Any human in his position seeing a coiled snake next to their foot would have leaped 10 ft away and let out a girly "Eeeeeeeeeeeeh!" That day I think my dad could have taken Michael Johnson in the long jump. I was really suprised after everything was over that we didn't get in trouble. I think we should have at least been sent to bed early or something. I guess in the end dad was just happy not to have been bitten by the deadliest snake in North America.
Paul "Dissapointed he didn't live next to Hammer" Murphy
Post out.
Word to your mother.
I grew up in a house that was in the sticks. Sometimes we said we lived in the woods. Which strangely enough M.C. Hammer did not live next to us, which is what I thought for a long time. KFC had a commercial with Hammer and their tag line was "Come on down to our neck of the woods." I thought, "hey that's where I live." But come to find out we weren't neighbors...
Growing up in the woods you learn there are very few rules and fewer cardinal sins. We had rules like "Don't go past the paved road on your bicycle without permission." It was like 2 miles away and uphill so it didn't really matter. "Don't stay out past dark." There are lots of scarry things in the woods so we didn't really have a problem with that one. But the greatest cardinal sin that was NOT funny was faking a snake sighting. We had lots of snakes around the house. In fact we had a little boat shed by the pond that we lovingly refered to as "The snake house." We had every pit-viper kind in North America on the 30 acres of land; Rattlesnakes, Copperheads, and Watermoccasins. At the age of 4 I could identify a poisonous snake from a "friendly" snake. But one thing you didn't do was falsly identify seeing a snake to get a rouse out of your brother. It's not nice.
So one day I was doing some yard work. I was about 7 years old and working a weed-wacker clumsily. Suddenly I saw a brown snake begin to crawl up the stairs next to where I was doing the wacking of weeds. I quickly alerted my moms and the "Snake Gun" was pulled into action. Now the "Snake Gun" was a .22 magnum & 20 gauge shotgun over-under setup with a sweet scope. I always wanted to shoot it but was never given the opportunity at the young age. So Philip lined up on the snake and shot it; the head completely destroyed. Then we drug the snake into the yard and started poking at our newly killed Copperhead. Snakes are kinda funny in that they keep moving after they have no head. Then I thought of a brilliant plan of what to do with our dead snake.
Dad ussually got home from work around 6:30-7 pm, well after dark. So I thought it would be a great idea to coil the snake up next to the door so that when dad looked down to turn the doorknob he would have a nice 4ft long poisonous copperhead staring back at him. Sure the snake didn't have a head but it would still be scarry for him and a good ruse for the rest of us. So dad came home later that evening and sure enough went straight for the door. He opened the door and entered the house to some bewildered faces. Obviously he didn't see it. "Didn't you leave something in your car?" someone suggested.
"Umm, no."
"You should go check just in case you left something."
"Uhhhh, ok."
He walked right by it again. So on his return trip it was apparent that he wasn't going to see it so Philip sprung into action.
"Ohhh! there's a snake next to your foot!!"
Now I don't hold the next three seconds of Dad's reaction against him. Any human in his position seeing a coiled snake next to their foot would have leaped 10 ft away and let out a girly "Eeeeeeeeeeeeh!" That day I think my dad could have taken Michael Johnson in the long jump. I was really suprised after everything was over that we didn't get in trouble. I think we should have at least been sent to bed early or something. I guess in the end dad was just happy not to have been bitten by the deadliest snake in North America.
Paul "Dissapointed he didn't live next to Hammer" Murphy
Post out.
Word to your mother.
posted by Paul Murphy at
1:06 PM
2 Comments:
My brother and I did the same trick to my great-grandmother, we used a rubber snake, but it looked and felt pretty real. My mother almost killed us for almost killing grandmother. Ha, good times.
By
Jeremiah Stoneburner, at 7/28/2007 6:10 AM
P Murph I didn't read this post because I'm almost I would have a panic attack but I really hope you didn't fake somebody out with a snake. Somebody did that to me once and I passed out....TOTALLY UNCOOL!
By
Anonymous, at 7/29/2007 6:15 PM
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