Viewpoints and Preception
I've been trying to get my 5th and 6th graders to realize that how you view the events around you is what effects your quality of life more than what acutally happens. What's the point of being cynical and pessimistic? It just brings you down. Now I'm not saying optimism is always the way to go, its just the way I like to go; it doesn't always work.
1. You are low on gas and its Sunday morning so all the gas stations are closed (this happens to me alot)
Pessimist- I'll probably run out of gas and life will suck
Realist- I probably have enough to make it home
Optimist- This gives me an opportunity to eat fried chicken at KFC and wait for the gs to open
2. Your golf drive has wound up next to a row of tall bushes on a hole that doglegs right.
Pessimist- I'll shank it so I better quit playing golf now
Realist- I'll shank it if I go for the hole, I'll chip it into the fairway for an easier shot
Optimist- I bet I can get it over those 12ft bushes and crank it to the hole
3. You tried to crank it to the hole. You don't "see" where it went but you hear it hit the tree in front of you then rustle in the bushes.
Pessimist- I'll never find that one
Realist- I should take a drop and chip out like I said I was going to in the last senario
Optimist- I'll go look for my ball on the green, it probably still made it through, as I did hit it pretty hard
4. You go to buy insurance
Pessimist- They're probably going to charge me way too much and the manager will be from New Zealand
Realist- I should shop around and get the best price
Optomist- Insurance people are generally nice and fair, right?
5. Wet Laundry that smells
Pessimist- I have to wash this crap again, my day is ruined
Realist- It'll only take a few more minutes
Optomist- I bet nobody will notice they smell funny
6. Its been 1240 days since a girl agreed to go out with you
Pessimist- Maybe I should be gay
Realist- Probably bad timing on all the others, it may have something to do with my laundry habits.
Optomist- I'm too good for any of those ladies anyways. Girls would be all over me if I weren't on this crazy island without single ladies.
Well I think I'll stop there.
Paul "Stinky Shirt" Murphy
I've been trying to get my 5th and 6th graders to realize that how you view the events around you is what effects your quality of life more than what acutally happens. What's the point of being cynical and pessimistic? It just brings you down. Now I'm not saying optimism is always the way to go, its just the way I like to go; it doesn't always work.
1. You are low on gas and its Sunday morning so all the gas stations are closed (this happens to me alot)
Pessimist- I'll probably run out of gas and life will suck
Realist- I probably have enough to make it home
Optimist- This gives me an opportunity to eat fried chicken at KFC and wait for the gs to open
2. Your golf drive has wound up next to a row of tall bushes on a hole that doglegs right.
Pessimist- I'll shank it so I better quit playing golf now
Realist- I'll shank it if I go for the hole, I'll chip it into the fairway for an easier shot
Optimist- I bet I can get it over those 12ft bushes and crank it to the hole
3. You tried to crank it to the hole. You don't "see" where it went but you hear it hit the tree in front of you then rustle in the bushes.
Pessimist- I'll never find that one
Realist- I should take a drop and chip out like I said I was going to in the last senario
Optimist- I'll go look for my ball on the green, it probably still made it through, as I did hit it pretty hard
4. You go to buy insurance
Pessimist- They're probably going to charge me way too much and the manager will be from New Zealand
Realist- I should shop around and get the best price
Optomist- Insurance people are generally nice and fair, right?
5. Wet Laundry that smells
Pessimist- I have to wash this crap again, my day is ruined
Realist- It'll only take a few more minutes
Optomist- I bet nobody will notice they smell funny
6. Its been 1240 days since a girl agreed to go out with you
Pessimist- Maybe I should be gay
Realist- Probably bad timing on all the others, it may have something to do with my laundry habits.
Optomist- I'm too good for any of those ladies anyways. Girls would be all over me if I weren't on this crazy island without single ladies.
Well I think I'll stop there.
Paul "Stinky Shirt" Murphy
posted by Paul Murphy at
6:22 PM
4 Comments:
I propose this alteration to #6
6. Its been 1240 days since a girl agreed to go out with you
Pessimist- Maybe I should be gay
Realist- Probably bad timing on all the others, it may have something to do with my laundry habits.
Optomist- "Hey baby, ME"
By
DK, at 3/11/2007 6:23 PM
I seem to remember P Murph being fairly good at the "Hey baby, ME!" pickup. Maybe you should try it more often;)
By
Anonymous, at 3/11/2007 9:26 PM
You forgot an estra ist, fortunately I have filled it in for you:
1. Low on gas - the idiotist simply never learns to fill up on Saturdays and should probably turn to sniffing the petrol fumes in an attempt to brighten up.
2. Golf drive near the bushes - the idiotist has already had 72 shots and the first nine is still not over yet. How about giving up golf and take up playing a minority sport that no one is interested in....frisbee anyone?
3. Crank the ball and hit a tree - the idiotist is a real slow learner. Take the hint....frisbee anyone?
4. You go to buy insurance - the idiotist would show up without working brake lights nor working reverse lights. The idiotist would then get upset with the insurance company because they are professional and have simply pointed out the obvious....you should have an I tattoed on your head (has the tattoo voting blog closed yet?)
5. Wet laundry that smells - the idiotist should learn that when you wake up in the morning with wet clothes that smell this is not called laundry. Try not to drink one hour before bedtime and see if that fixes the problem...idiot.
6. 1240 days without a date - the idiotist needs to learn that he has set his bar way too high. Hawaiin air only fly once a week so for 6 days you are actually marooned on a pacific island with lots of native females. This should be like shooting fish in a bucket....are you gay?...you would tell me right?....you said that your hand was on my lap because it slipped.
By
Anonymous, at 3/12/2007 1:00 AM
Sole... mai. That's about as good as my translation goes. Good luck with it.
Try lowering your standards. It worked wonders for Jaime.
By
Philip, at 3/12/2007 5:31 PM
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